Community Blog -- Click "New Topic" to post your thoughts.1 ... 5 6 [7] 8 9 ... 11 Trump's treatment of fellow deal makers?
November 01, 2016, 02:47:30 PM by Kerry
I've yet to read anything about how those that have made deals with Trump feel after the deal. Watching how abusive he is with anyone he considers an adversary, it looks to me that his abuse is an addiction, that he can't control his knee-jerk inaccurate insensitive reactions in extemporaneous situations, as with say, a world leader.
A friend of mine was an excellent businessman, an unassuming wheeler and dealer. He too was addicted to abuse. His reputation was that of always getting the slightly better deal; it looked fair and sounded fair but there was always a distaste, as though something about it wasn't fair. I suspect Trump's peers feel the same way about him. I'm sure that Trump, if elected, would cause a huge increase in our country's debt and that many countries would not feel good in their dealings with him. Last edited 1/9/18 The health of our healthcare professionals?
October 11, 2016, 04:30:23 AM by Kerry
Thoughts about the health of our healthcare professionals?
The majority of our nation's healthcare professionals and their patients are overweight—all dragging around 20+ lbs of energy-sapping extra weight. Premise: The way to keep another stuck is to hypocritically offer them counsel and advice that hasn't consistently worked for you or your own family.
What we "clients-patients" see throughout most of the healthcare community is a large number of overweight nurses, receptionists, and office staff. An overweight receptionist does not inspire health; it reveals that the integrity of the boss is out (subordinates always mirror the integrity of their leader) and, that the person assigned* to be the "office manager" is in fact stuck somewhere in the process-of-becoming-a-manager; he/she has yet to know (from direct experience) the correlation between personal integrity and results.** An overweight healthcare professional knows a lot about health*** and understands the correlation between personal integrity and outcomes for themselves and all with whom they relate; however, their understanding serves as a barrier to knowing. I.e. A Navy SEAL's spouse keeps her agreements and supports spousal fidelity throughout the Navel Special Warfare community in support of favorable outcomes for everyone; whereas, all healthcare professionals know of at least one person in their organization who is involved in one or more deceptions—these ostensibly "good" people non-verbally enable the deception and it's consequences—oblivious of the correlation between personal integrity and results (such as healing). * "assigned" meaning—that a qualified office "manager" knows how to manage and meet goals whereas someone in the "process-of-becoming" a manager tries and keeps others stuck. ** "direct experience" A late patient or a "No show" is thought to be the irresponsible patient's fault (or the way things are) rather than it being an integrity issue, a reminder; perhaps the receptionist left home that morning having verbally abused their spouse without acknowledging the abuse, without cleaning it up (list of integrity variables that affect outcomes). *** An unhealthy/overweight health-care professional reveals that they are still thwarting the wisdom of their parents and their high school biology, exercise, and nutrition teachers; as such they communicate that what's being taught doesn't work. Patients mirror the integrity of their healers. Note 1: It is unethical to receive money for acting as a manager and making one's own financial survival more important than doing what to takes to inspire a subordinate's health. Leadership requires impeccable integrity. I.e. Honor time and financial agreements, zero gossip and badmouthing, keep personal relationships clean. Note 2: I'm unaware of any VA clinic staff member that begins each appointment with an In-Processing Integrity Clearing. For example: "What thought comes to mind when you think of what your ailment might be about?" Or, "Let's assume that your pain is a consequence of an incomplete; for what would you like to be acknowledged?" Virtually all veterans with PTSD have one or more significant thoughts they are withholding from a significant person; there are no exceptions to this phenomenon. Put another way, a vet isn't addressing the source of an ailment if they are dragging around an unacknowledged perpetration they have hidden from a significant person—to include acknowledging all of life's perpetrations (first lie, first deception, first temper tantrum, first theft, first fight, first blame). Last edited 7/26/23 Police confronting intention
September 27, 2016, 05:11:24 AM by Kerry
Police confronting intention
Law enforcement academy superintendents are confronting what it would take to effect a transformation in their relationship with the populace. Superintendents nationwide are having to examine the correlation between personal integrity and results. Specifically, they must ask, "What have I been intending? What are my intentions now?" and—
A superintendent of police intent on making a significant positive3difference must be willing to accept responsibly for producing the present results. He/she must ask, "What have I been intending? —not what I say I've been intending or what I believe I've been intending, but the results—what's so." For example: The way to discover ones intentions is to look at the results. A superintendent would have to be willing to acknowledge that they have been unconsciously, non-verbally, intending and supporting deceptions within virtually all of the nation's police departments—evidenced by the number of spousal infidelities4 throughout the law enforcement community, and, administratively, the huge number of late/incomplete/inaccurate daily reports/records. All superintendents confront the choice—to phase out the Thin Blue Line? Note: The present unspoken agreement within all police departments is to lie, to hide, to thwart, to deceive a Department Internal Investigator so as to not get a fellow officer in trouble. All law enforcement officers everywhere choose to compromise their integrity daily so as to remain employed. Note: Every "good" officer knows at least one or more fellow officers who are involved in a deception; these good "righteous" officers non-verbally communicate their disrespect of the department and it's leaders daily, in each interaction with everyone. The experience of continual daily pride is missing—one knows about the deceits and can't do anything about them. All police recruits soon discover that police department personnel are not as honest or ethical as they had assumed; what's worse, is that they are powerless to do anything about it other than to compromise their integrity so as to keep their job. A responsible superintendent asks, "What is it about my leadership-communication skills that keeps producing undesirable results?" A responsible superintendent asks, "What is it about my leadership-communication skills that enables many under my command to deceive their own spouses?" A responsible superintendent asks, "What would I have to change about myself so that when I would say, "Open and honest and spontaneous communication within your family, zero withholds—that that's the way it would be." It would be known that the way to communicate that you don't want to be a part of our law enforcement community is to cheat on your spouse or to non-verbal support another's deception of another. What will happen once I announce that we will no longer be conducting sting operations? What will happen when I announce that we will no longer lie to or deceive suspects? I.e. "We know you did it." "We have proof that you did it." (Read Potential Rumor about no more stings or lying). 1 Speech-communication courses/trainings will be four times longer. The various communication courses and leadership training programs will have the reputation of being the most challenging of all courses. The Leadership Training Program for Education majors will be comparable to most military officer leadership trainings. The completion rate for education majors will be less than 30%. Note: Educators will have the leadership-communication skills to cause starting wages for education professionals will be equal to those of skilled workers (electricians, plumbers, mechanics). Universities will discontinue all remedial education programs for incoming freshman—instead, schools will have teachers who can be trusted to communicate subject matter. (All high school grads will know how to balance a check book, write a resume, fill out an IRS Tax Form, compute the better prices, demonstrate the ability to install and upgrade software, and verbally explain the immediate and lifetime costs a having a child). Most importantly, all teachers will facilitate a Community Support Group for Citizens (local high school grads) —it will meet 2x monthly for the purpose of creating and maintaining positive supportive relationships through communication, setting and completing goals, and clearing. 2 25% of the nation's college freshman require remedial courses in composition and comprehension—because education majors are not taught how to communicate subject matter; the teachers have become stuck doing their imitation of communication. 3 The word "positive" reminds us that we are always making a difference. Some of us communicate so as to forward others, some communicate so as to cause mediocre results for our friends and relatives, and others communicate so as to take others down with them. 4 A true leader communicates, "Our foundation is integrity, as such spousal infidelity (you deceiving your spouse or your spouse deceiving you) is grounds for immediate discharge (there are no exceptions). If you know a fellow officer is involved in deceit your responsibility is to ask them to stop; if they refuse, you are to tell them that they leave you no option other than to report them, or, you also will be discharged." Last edited 7/28/21 Living without eating and drinking?
August 15, 2016, 01:38:14 AM by Kerry
In his Autobiography of A Yogi author Paramahansa Yogananda wrote that Yogi Sri Yukteswar, one of India's acknowledged yogis, had visited Yogini Giri Bala an Indian woman who reportedly had not eaten or drank anything for over 50 years. Several notable doubting Gurus had tested Giri Bala with rigorous observations (locked her in a room for weeks at a time) and had confirmed her ability. She was born 1880 and was 68 at the time of Yukteswar's visit.
Sri Yukteswar, himself an acknowledged Guru and Master, asked Giri why she had not taught everyone in her poor village how to live without food or water. She replied that it would not be fair because it would put farmers out of work. She added that her guru had her promise to not divulge the technique to anyone; the meditation process includes breathwork and a secret kria mantra (chant) that transforms air, light, sound, ether, and cosmic energy into usable energy for the body. At first Giri's reasons sounded reasonable but I've since had the following considerations.
* Most present-day yogis, clerics, masseuses, rebirthers, therapists and coaches are out-integrity. Their instructors (as opposed to "teachers") do not inspire their students to live from integrity. i.e. A massage (or any uplifting service) when performed by a person of integrity, is a transformational experience. Unfortunately, present-day masseuses communicate their integrity non-verbally and psychically as they lay hands on a client;** the vibrations of a client and a masseuse are co-mingled rather than the masseuse being a grounding conduit for energy release and realignment. In other words, a person of integrity can experience a masseuse's out-integrity. Consequently, massages feel good but few clients rave to their friends, "It was mind blowing. You've just got to visit this person." Note: A true massage begins with a clearing process such as The Clearing Process—so as to create space for communication to take place. ** The test, as to whether or not you've been massaged by a person who operates from integrity, is if the experience was transformational, if you found yourself raving about the experience thereafter; life was never the same. The same in-processing procedure is an indicator as to whether or not your health care professional (therapist, counselor, or doctor) is clear about the correlation between ones personal integrity and life's results. Supportive reading: About The Course in Miracles. Last edited 10/5/16 Date rape--liken to a police "sting" operation.
July 06, 2016, 04:15:35 AM by Kerry
Date rape--liken to a police "sting" operation
Police nationwide conduct deceitful sting operations.1 Date rape "victims" nationwide conduct deceitful stings on their prey. A Police Officer's Sting Operation: A police officer intends that a potential perpetrator commit a specific crime that would not have taken place except for the officer's intention. The perpetrator may or may not have committed the same crime with someone else.2 The officer and his/her Police Chief3 justify the deceit believing that the perpetrator would have committed the crime if the police had not entrapped them. Ethical behaviors don't require justification. Date Rape "Victim's" Sting Operation: A date rape "victim"4 sets up a potential perpetrator to commit a crime that would not have taken place except through her intention. While seducing her "victim" she must communicate so as to lead him on, to get him alone. She must manipulate him into thinking that she too wants to be alone with him; she does this by acting coy, sexy, and naive, all the while knowing what he really wants. Most important, she must attract a man who will support her in deceiving both his and her parents. I.e. An honorable man would want to meet a woman's parents, he would not con a father's loving daughter into deceiving her parents. A date raper searches for a woman who looks/acts weak, wimpy, horny, loose, unhappy, easy, or willing to be conned and relatively unconscious (unaware). He can, within a few minutes, tell if a woman is aware of her cons, if she's used to conning and to setting it up to be conned. He is skilled at reading a woman's aura, whether she communicates openly, honestly, and spontaneously, or if she is a fellow con, a deceptor unworthy of his respect. All this can be deduced within the first few minutes. He will not waste his time with a confident honest woman, one whose "no" he knows definitely means "no, a woman he senses would report him to the police." A female date rape "victim" often begins by consciously choosing to wear something "sexy" she bought specifically to attract a man. She spends considerable time grooming and preparing herself for a possibility--an observer would notice a difference in time spent on crotch hygiene (a work-shower vs. a night-out shower). Then she must choose where to go to find men on the prowl, a co-conspirator. If she can't find her ideal man she lowers her standards and selects a possible victim, a potential perpetrator. Typically, she will con her mark into paying for drinks rather than insisting on paying her own way. Using her leadership-communication skills she must seduce in a way that communicates an implied "promise of performance." She must conduct her sting operation with someone whom she knows wants sex.5 A date rape "victim" most always seduces a man whom she would not introduce to her parents, one whom she knows her father would not approve. Because a respectful man would not be attracted to the aura of her karma she must select someone she can con into seducing her, one she arrogantly believes she can control. Once she's gotten him alone she must have at the ready the typical disclaimer statements, "I didn't know you wanted sex." and "Please stop." Supportive articles: Police Commissioner's new policy - no more lying Date rape variables Media's reporting of inappropriate communication "victims" 1 I'm unaware of any police department that does not conduct sting operations; coincidentally, these departments have one or more employees involved in (non-verbally supporting) infidelity--this, because a mind that consciously justifies abuse and deceit also justifies and non-verbally enables other unethical or abusive behaviors. Please reply if you know of one. 2 ". . . intention." What's also true is that the officer's sting victim is, him/herself, unconsciously intending to be caught for all of life's unacknowledged perpetrations. The police and their sting participant have non-verbally agreed to operate deceitfully. I.e. "I'll do unlawful things and you can use deceit to capture me." At no time just prior to a sting arrest does an officer intend for their "target" to go straight, to have an epiphany triggered by the officer's exemplary integrity, his/her very presence. 3 A Police Chief who supports deceit creates a department and a community that perfectly mirrors his/her integrity; the integrity of an organization can be measured by the number of its spousal infidelities, all supported non-verbally. Each "good" officer knows at least one cheating officer and therefore becomes cause for the deceit via their non-verbal leadership-skills. Civilians of such a community believe that it's OK to deceive another for reasons, in part because police do it. Here in Hawaii, the majority believe that a few officers have confiscated marijuana for personal use or resale. True or not, the perception of deceit, though not as prevalent as rumored, does have a valid foundation. I.e. A friend of mine (and many others in our community) know an officer who used to be a fellow "grower" --that is to say, our police chief has yet to learn how to create a safe space for open and honest communication with his officers. The officer, who lied on his Job Application Form about drugs, is unaware that he is dragging his out-integrity, his unacknowledged deceits (perpetrations), into each and every interaction with everyone, affecting all outcomes; the out-integrity within the department, the unconsciousness, affects the chief and his results. 4 With date rape, as with spousal abuse, there are no "victims," only consenting cons, each running their con on the other. A spouse abuse "victim" will, after the first incident, using his/her equally powerful leadership-communication skills, set up their partner to abuse them again--instead of insisting on estrangement or therapy, they goad their partner into more abuse and then blame them. 5 A truthful woman will communicate upfront, "Just so you are clear, I'm not at all interested in sex or going home with you. Is that OK with you?" On the other hand, a woman who doesn't always tell the truth--one who has existing deceits and withholds between her and her family, a woman who doesn't always mean what she says, [She conned a high school date into begging for sex and had said no at first and then--after making him jump through a few more hoops, "gave in."] displays her out-integrities via her aura--she will seduce a man non-verbally and later blame him for her machinations. Cons can always detect a mark, a fellow con. A date rapist will generate (elicit) certain feedback from a woman that assures him that she intends to be conned. What he doesn't know is that she may have a different agenda; she may be addicted to blaming and revenge, she may be dragging around anger and is unconsciously intent on causing a perpetrator to be incarcerated--thereby revealing her unconscious intention. It is never acceptable to ignore another's, "No. Please stop." Note 1: All officers who support stings have dozens of withholds between them and their spouse; what's not commonly known is that the officer's spouse is withholding an equal (yes, equal) number of thoughts from the officer--there are no exceptions to this entanglement phenomenon. Law enforcement spouses, using their equally powerful leadership-communication skills, support the marital infidelities throughout the department, unaware of the correlation between integrity and outcomes. I.e. The spouse of an officer either inspires her partner to communicate openly, honestly, spontaneously--zero significant withholds or, he/she non-verbally supports gossiping, blaming, and badmouthing--resulting in thwarting the officer's chief. Note 2: Research will eventually reveal that most all date rape "victims" have one or more unacknowledged withholds (deceits, lies, perpetrations) between them and their parents; they unconsciously set up life to get caught so as to restore and maintain their integrity. Read about recidivism. Note 3: A high school boy hunts for a girl who is not in communication with her parents. Based upon her verbal and non-verbal (or missing) communications about her parents a boy knows she can be conned into deceiving both sets of parents so as to have sex. Last edited 2/24/24 What do all terrorists have in common?
June 20, 2016, 02:01:44 AM by Kerry
I believe research will reveal that all terrorists (domestic and foreign) have had one or more verbal/non-verbal abuses perpetrated on them by his/her parents, specifically, abuses that were not verbally acknowledged by the parent(s). What turns verbal abuse into life-long damaging abuse is if you, as a parent, don't later acknowledge the abuse to your child. The same applies for make-wrongs, yellings, spankings, arm-jerkings, or head-slapping physical abuses. Here's an example of acknowledging an abusive communication: "Son, I get that I was just abusive to you." or, "Son, I get that I was abusive to you yesterday."1 nothing more, nothing less. Notice that an acknowledgment doesn't require an explanation or an apology.[/list] If your child does something that triggers a knee-jerk reaction—raised voice-yelling-verbal abuse—it's normal, it's an essential phase a parent goes through in their communication mastery curriculum. Unacknowledged abuses generate anger, disrespect and resentment.2 A single unresolved unacknowledged abuse causes a child to do whatever it takes to restore the experience of communication, of love that once was. Most children, after an abusive communication, react by crying, looking sad or angrily dramatizing their hurt. If that doesn't work they then pout, thwart, misbehave, fail in school or get sick—anything so as to draw to someone's attention that he/she is not in-communication with anyone. If none of that works they then unconsciously fail at life and relationships to punish the parents or society for not coming to their aid. The mind will kill the body (unhealthy foods, drugs, no exercising, becoming homeless) so as to be right, to make someone wrong. I.e. A long ignored (unacknowledged) baby will repeatedly bang its head on the crib to get (love-communication) attention. The way to complete one's addiction to abusing or being abused is to verbally acknowledge each and every instance of abuse. Silence or talking causes it to "happen" again. If for example you were yelled at it's your responsibility to have the yeller acknowledge that they know that it didn't feel good; they must acknowledge that they know that it was abusive. If you fail to get the acknowledgment, then you become cause for all future abuses. The way to complete your relationships with your child and your partner is for you to first do The Clearing Process and then invite your partner to do the process, and then both of you do The Clearing Process for Couples and then for you to do The Clearing Process for a Parent and a Young Person/Teen with your child each evening at bed-time. The clearing processes are free. Note 1: Most divorced couples never saw or heard their parents responsibly acknowledge (verbally clean up) an abusive interaction—from cause—therefore the behavior was not modeled for the child. Note 2: The majority of teens have been taught to deceive by their parents; these teens con each other into deceiving both sets of parents so as to have sex. These teens were never told about their parent's teen sex history; the majority of parents hide their own deceptive exploits from their teen. 1 An acknowledgment is not an apology; it's not an admission of guilt or of wrong-doing, it's not a promise to never do it again. It's simply a communication stating, "I know that what I said (or did) didn't feel good." An abuse that has not been verbally acknowledged by the perpetrator to the "victim" causes both to be incomplete—usually for life. 2 A parent that non-verbally supports abuse of their child by their partner is an enabler. Repeated abuse of a child cannot not take place except that one of the parents is an enabler who make their own survival (shelter, food, or an imitation of communication) more important than the safety of their child. For more about the possible effects of communication breakdowns within families read Mothers for Life, a blog post to a Columbine mother . Last edited 6/9/17 Consequences of tithing while receiving welfare
June 10, 2016, 02:52:57 AM by Kerry
Questions:
1. Could it be that welfare recipients who tithe to their church cause even more* undesirable financial karma for themselves—and all with whom they relate—perhaps causing one to remain stuck financially? 2. Is it ethical to give away money you got from your neighbors for rent/food assistance? That is to say, you reported to the state/county that you needed financial support to survive. 3. Are there undesirable consequences for giving away money that you have only because the county or state (your neighbors, your community) are helping you financially? 4. Is there a correlation between church attendance and the fact that a pastor knowingly receives money from members who themselves received the money from taxpayers for necessities? 5. What percent of a church's tithings come from welfare recipients? (10%, 20%, 30% —perhaps more than 50%). It could be said that a significant percentage of churches are partly financed by tax money. 6) What percent of tithings received from welfare recipients is sent to other countries? All church members have homeless and hungry neighbors; something about a pastor's message (delivered using his/her leadership-communication skills) doesn't serve his/her own community, yet they send money to others.** 7. Is it ethical for a pastor to receive money to pay his/her family's bills knowing that the donor is receiving financial support from the state/county, and, most likely has one or more late payments (broken agreements) due? Put another way, screwing over a fellow merchant to support a belief system (one that creates divisive conditions of us/them all over the world). 8. Do you know of a pastor who announces before each collection, "If you are receiving financial support from the county or state please do not tithe money, instead, donate your time to help us with maintenance"? * Premise: How we communicate, our leadership-communication skills, produce all of our results. Needing financial assistance from neighbors suggests that something's not working for you, possibly your integrity is out somewhere—usually it's a childhood perpetration (lie, deceit, theft, abuse) for which you have yet to be acknowledged (caught). Karma, though not always immediate, is always perfectly appropriate; it's how we'd have it (it's how we get caught, how we punish ourselves). We are too honest; we can't let our self win big (sustained happiness, success/prosperity) by getting away with an abuse, a con, or a single lie. Acknowledging a perpetration completes the karmic effects. To restore and maintain your integrity do The Clearing Process, —it's free and it works. ** An airline steward advises, "Put on your oxygen mask first before trying to help your child." As pertains to church members, share with others how your beliefs have solved social problems in your own community. For more about this topic read the Potential Rumor: Big Isle pastor conflicted about welfare tithings Read about a cause of recidivism Last edited 12/18/23 About hecklers of candidates
June 03, 2016, 04:16:56 AM by Kerry
About hecklers of candidates
Candidates miss excellent opportunities to demonstrate their leadership-skills—specifically, their ability to plan, supervise, and conduct a gathering in a way that works for all concerned. For example, a candidate would announce at the beginning: Let me begin by stating the purpose of this meeting and to make clear the agreement for this meeting. Once you've heard the purpose, and can agree to the agreement, you may then choose to stay or leave. The purpose of this presentation is for me to communicate in such a way as to inspire you to vote for me. Towards the end the assistants will pass around a microphone for 2-minute sharings* (comments/suggestions/questions). To be clear, this is a presentation. It is not a debate. A debate is where both parties get equal time to present and argue their positions. It is a presentation. It is not a forum. A forum is where participants can have equal time for their thoughts; forum rules are supported by a designated forum leader. It is a presentation. It is not a town hall meeting where one gets to have floor time. If we don't have time to answer your question you may ask it on a Question Form that will be provided out in the lobby as you leave. I will read every form. Let's go over the agreement: By staying you are agreeing to politely remain silent while hearing opposing viewpoints. You are agreeing that you and I have the right to have our own point of view, to rent a venue such as this so as to have permission to speak without interruption. Specifically, this meeting is for me to share my thoughts with you. If you can agree with this then please stay. If you think that you won't be able to be polite and allow me to speak without interruption, please leave now. In other words, if you interrupt me you will be asking all of us to ask you to leave immediately. Please raise your hand if you cannot agree to refrain from interrupting me. You may of course leave politely and silently at any time. * The rules for open mic sharing are: No blaming, no badmouthing, no name calling. The rules for open mic listening are: Raise your hand if you hear someone being abusive. Last edited 8/3/16 Next teen sexual evolution?
May 03, 2016, 04:44:06 AM by Kerry
Next teen sexual evolution?
Could it be that the next teen-dating evolution, to replace the popular Abstinence Agreement popular amongst some teens, will include introducing each other to one's parents (beginning with a sit-down meal with all family members) so as to have their [parent's] support for a responsible loving relationship, to include a guilt-free first time sex experience? The trend will emphasize open, honest, and spontaneous communication, zero deceits—the very same leadership-communication skills one needs to have sucessful relationships.
With genuine communication there is no need for deceiving, withholding, or blaming. Few teens learn how to clear* and so they drag life's unacknowledged perpetrations into each and every interaction—for life. Communication is not taught in schools and universities because it requires that students and teachers alike agree to tell the truth to each other, to honor agreements, zero badmouthing, and to be willing to communicate through to mutual satisfaction. More to come. Last edited 8/24/16 * a clearing process disappears the karmic effects of unacknowledged perpetrations. Unlike confession (confession assigns penances and admonishments), a clearing is a simple easy communication process that supports ones intention to be complete, to be in-integrity. It creates space for communication to take place. About Mothers for Life
April 02, 2016, 06:37:36 AM by Kerry
I applaud Mothers for Life1 for supporting each other in being complete, specifically, for acknowledging (responsibly communicating) their cause for such an outcome. We all know what a challenge it is to acknowledge being cause for an unexpected outcome; most of us are unconscious and addicted to blaming.
Examples of responsible communications: As a parent of a child who resorts to terror as a way of communicating I'd have to be willing to ask, “What is it about my leadership-communication skills that caused this outcome and, to have an intention to know. Without coaching or therapy the mind will typically hide ones cause for an undesirable outcome from itself. I.e. "We were going along nicely and then a specific communication after which things were never the same. For some, as yet to be acknowledged brilliant reason, I intended it.” It was an upsetting incident (day, date, time and location) that didn't end with hugs. That less-than-mutually-satisfying outcome is referred to as an incomplete. It was the fork in the road between the parent and child. Typically, such incidents are difficult to recall without a coach (or clearings) because the mind hides its responsibility for causing unconscious intentions (un-envisioned outcomes). I'd also have to be willing to acknowledge that my child had no choice other than to mirror my integrity. I trained my child to withhold thoughts and to deceive me—no wonder he/she didn't want anything to do with me or my way of relating—I honestly believed I was in-communication with my child; I had become stuck doing my imitation of communication. And the biggie: “What communication of mine caused my child to know, with absolute certainty, that there was no space for communication to take place between us? I was so unconscious that I couldn't see that the integrity between me and my child was out.” 4 Note: Few people leave relationships that are working. A happy, loving, satisfied, well-adjusted person—one committed to their neighborhood and community working—doesn’t move away from wonderful supportive loving family members and nurturing communities (if they do so, say in service to others, it's with the positive support of family members). Without exception all terrorists left families and communities that weren't working, communities that needed their help as much as does any terrorist group. Airline stewards advise: "Put on your oxygen mask first before trying to help another." All families addicted to abusing and to being abused, including all Mothers for Life and their progeny, during a weekend-long communication workshop, would find themselves communicating hundreds (yes hundreds) of thoughts that they all have withheld5 from each other—each withhold would be communicated responsibly with zero blame. Use the The [free] Clearing Process to restore and maintain your integrity—to create space for communication to take place. (it works—it’s free) More Effective Communicators—men or women? A post addressing responsibility for a child joining a terrorist group. 1 Mo betta the organization be named Parents for Life or even Village for Life. All results, including incarceration, recidivism, or a teen supporting a terrorist group, are produce via the leadership-communication skills of all concerned—beginning with the parents. 2 All "victims" of spousal infidelity can, via a three-hour consultation with a communication-skills coach, recall the well-hidden incident, the specific deceit they perpetrated on their partner that gave him/her non-verbal permission to deceive them, to withhold certain thoughts (there are no "victims" when it comes to infidelity, or a terrorist-supporting child) —only parents who both lapsed into doing their imitation of communication. 3 A child will do anything, misbehave, get sick, fail in school or life so as to draw attention to the fact that they are not in-communication with anyone; they do this so as to recreate the experience of love that once was between their parents. 4 If you keep using the same leadership-communication model that drove your child away, you will continue to produce more of the same. It could be said that you unconsciously drove your child out of your life to support you in restoring your integrity so as to continue your communication studies. The Adversarial Communication Model taught nationwide in schools and universities produces blaming breakdowns in communication. 5 All divorces began when both partners, on their first date, unconsciously, non-verbally, simultaneously, gave each other permission to withhold his/her thought of choice from the other (there are no exceptions to this entanglement phenomenon). Update 5/13/17 Sue, I just heard a more recent 5/13/17 interview on TED Radio Hour of you with Guy Roz. Re: "I failed as a parent." Not true. You, using your leadership-communication skills, produced the result you produced for some yet to be realized brilliant reason.* Re: "I continuously ask myself what I could have done." Notice that you've yet to intend to get the answer. When you use your mind to recall the very first breakdown in communication between you and your son your mind hides the incident from you. That's the value of a consultation with a communication-skills coach; a coach knows how to create space for the truth to be told. There was a turning point, the very first interaction between you and your son that was not mutually satisfying. That incomplete was the fork in the road; it's been affecting you both to this very day. Your mind doesn't want to acknowledged that it trained your son to be deceitful, to withhold thoughts from you. A child has no choice other than to mirror the integrity of both parents. * Your gift to mothers everywhere, your purpose in life, has become, sharing the effects of the difference between talking and communicating. You failed to clear your son each night at bedtime. Because you didn't create space for him to communicate his upsets and withholds each evening he ended up being out-integrity ergo, dramatizing his anger. If your intention is to be complete I recommend that you do The [free] Clearing Process after which you may request a free telephone clearing with me. Read about the Clearing Process for a Parent and a Young Person/Teen --also free,--a must for all parents.[/list] Last edited 1/6/24
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