Community Blog -- Click "New Topic" to post your thoughts.1 ... 4 5 [6] 7 8 ... 11 Pistol-buying tips for seniors
July 30, 2017, 03:13:25 AM by Kerry
If you are a considering buying a pistol for self-defense/home protection, this senior recommends a revolver rather than a semi-automatic pistol.
The reason? Many seniors are prone to arthritis, some lose their grip-strength, others lose some finger dexterity and coordination. A semi-automatic pistol requires thumb and finger dexterity and strength to pull back the slide so as to chamber a round. Note: Some women have not developed their upper arm and hand strength. Also, inserting rounds into a semi-automatic pistol's magazine requires some finger strength, coordination, and dexterity such as pressing down against a spring and finessing the round into place. A semi-automatic pistol may be easy to use today but ten years from now, in a stressful (possibly panicky-confusing) emergency situation, it might not be so easy. For home protection/self defense I recommend a double-action, stainless steel, 4" barrel, .38 caliber revolver. Example of revolvers: http://www.range365.com/12-best-revolvers-you-can-buy-new#page-7.
Concerns about a revolver's 5-8 rounds? For self-defense, the interaction is usually over within seconds. Unlike the movies, there are no prolonged shoot-outs in-home incidents. Tips: 1) Some recommend shooting to kill so that a wounded assailant can't later file suit against you, or worse, come back later and, out of revenge, ambush you because they lost the use of a leg or hand or whatever. However, you can't shoot them and then, while they are wounded on the floor, shoot them again to kill them; that would be murder. 2) Many knowledgeable shooters will advocate a double-tap. Shoot two rounds (the first might not hit or stop them). 3) Although it's not recommended, because of child safety reasons, if you live alone you can keep the revolver loaded so that you can just pick it up, release the safety and fire it just by pulling the trigger, even one-handed. For long-term storage, a thin coat of preservative on the brass of each round before you insert them into the revolver's stainless steel cylinder will minimize corrosion. Keep in mind that house guests (especially children) sometimes, out of curiosity, go through drawers. Store the pistol in a bedside table or the room you run to as your safe(est) room. 4) I recommend that you shop several stores to test for a comfortable pistol grip. It's important that the grip is comfortable for your hand, most are not; there is a pistol that will feel as though it was made for you. Once you find a used one that fits nicely you could then buy a new one online, however, used pistols are perfectly fine for self-defense. 5) Here's a video that shows the stopping power of various caliber rounds. Here's a nice tip for beginners: Weapons Training -- Starting from Mastery Last edited 5/19/22[/size] Psychiatrists and Kim Jong Un
July 04, 2017, 05:45:04 AM by Kerry
I'm waiting to hear that the 33* psychiatrists who submitted their observations of President Trump to the NY Times, have composed another letter—to acknowledge the predictable dangers of the Kim Jong Un — President Trump relationship.
Premise: If your child suddenly started threatening to kill his sister you would, after trying every therapy possible, have no choice other than to place him/her in a special home. That is to say, when someone threatens us we do what it takes to restore serenity. I think it's safe to say that at least 50% of the world feels threatened by President Trump's communications. A few thoughts that concern me: Most people agree that an absolute dictator is both narcissistic and plagued with paranoia. Media reports that Kim Jong Un, unarguably the world's most successful absolute dictator (in terms of getting his subjects to behave as he wishes**), truly believes that the U.S. is planning to invade North Korea, ergo, his drive for nuclear missiles—ostensibly for defense, or, for what could possibly be self-annihilation of North Korea. I'm wanting the media to report that the present hype about the immediate danger of Kim Jong Un firing an intercontinental missile at the U.S. is ludicrous. At best, in a few years, No Korea could manufacture several dozen nukes, however, Kim Jong Un knows, with absolute certainty, that within seconds of any "crazy suicidal attack," that it would be the end of North Korea as we know it. i.e. 24 nukes from N Korea to the US vs as many as it would take to completely destroy N Korea—all missiles from both sides enroute within minutes of him pressing "the" button. The above thoughts prompt us to insist upon world support for concerted intervention. The reason? The pressures of being a dictator eventually lead to increasingly more aberrant behavior and a purposeful death from the hands of others (I'm unaware of any dictator dying peacefully while sleeping). Can we risk the possibility, however remote, that Kim Jong Un is, (albeit unconsciously) intent on suicide*** and that he has had fleeting thoughts of sacrificing his country, as a martyr, so as to turn the world against the country who destroyed No Korea? It is possible to design and deliver questions to Kim Jong Un that would facilitate mutually satisfying communication. If he read specific questions, and had to think about the answers, it would effect a transformation about that specific topic (whether he replied of not). Like President Trump a narcissist cannot resist reading about him/herself. * Another "Petition" has so far garnered more than 41,000 signatures. It states: “We, the undersigned mental health professionals (please state your degree), believe in our professional judgment that Donald Trump manifests a serious mental illness that renders him psychologically incapable of competently discharging the duties of President of the United States. And we respectfully request he be removed from office, according to article 4 of the 25th amendment to the Constitution,. . ." ** Everyone knows the correct way to applause their Leader, hands raised high so that he can see that you are supporting what he's saying. Everyone has the responsibility to report anyone who appears to be less than enthusiastic, else, they to will require re-education. *** Picture Kim Jong Un in prison. Would he dare diss a fellow inmate? Would he dare threaten anyone knowing that he would definitely be murdered. Suicidal prisoners often diss another prisoner which then causes the the dissed to kill the disser, which then causes the killer to be punished. Kim Jong Un's posturing with a weapon is not the behavior of a normal well adjusted person intent on harmony. I predict that it's just a matter of time before he and President Trump involve our countries in war (last edited 1/8/18). Kerrith H. (Kerry) King Leadership-Relationship Communication-Skills Coach Leadership Training: must-read for teachers
May 18, 2017, 02:40:02 AM by Kerry
Most every "good" teacher knows of one or more fellow teachers that are disliked by many students. These objectionable "teachers" are not "disliked" because they are strict or demanding but because there's something about his/her leadership-communication skills that don't inspire learning. The wannabe teacher is in fact mirroring the leadership-communication skills of everyone (principal, admin, teachers, maintenance and food service, and of course parents)—all of whom vote non-verbally to submit students to an ineffective teacher for yet another day. It begs the question—what could students learn if their teachers had been required to complete a Leadership Training Program before being awarded a teaching degree?
Someone stuck in the process of becoming a leader will daily vote, non-verbally, to have incompetent fellow teachers.1 Put another way, most teachers who receive awards for being the best, or the most influential, continue to submit students to another day of the incompetence of a fellow teacher. If you are a teacher or a principal and know of a teacher who is performing poorly, then you would serve your school by arranging for a [free] weekend-long Leadership-Training2 for your school's personnel (principal, admin, kitchen personnel, custodians, and teachers). A leader communicates effectively and as such ensures that students are in-communication with each of their teachers. I for one (eight different schools K-12) never experienced being in-communication with any teacher. There are millions and millions of students like myself, who have attended high school, who, when asked to name teachers they truly admired, often only come up with one name.3 1 "incompetent" Approximately 25% of our nation's college freshmen require remedial reading and comprehension classes to learn what their teachers failed to teach; the list of reasons for these results never address the truth—a failure to communicate. 2 I'm unaware of any college or university that includes Leadership Training as a requirement for education and health care majors. All military Privates and Corporals have more leadership skills than most teachers. 3 One good test for incompetency is, each Friday, hand students, a list of all the school's staff and have them rank each 1-10 (no signature required). It's an excellent tool for principals when coaching teachers, before they become truly ineffective (read Leadership Tips for Teachers). Last edited 11/7/23 Consideration about self-driving cars and accidents
May 08, 2017, 04:33:24 AM by Kerry
If a self-driving car hits something/someone, who pays? Clearly it would be my responsibility but wouldn't it be the car's fault? It seems as though the insurance company should sue the car's manufacture.
I believe the person in the driver's seat should be held financially liable for any accidents. Eventually insurance premiums will be extremely high for self-driving vehicles. Post your considerations. Note: Although the various computers on NASA's Cassini (Saturn) aircraft were remarkably responsive to being controlled from earth I have not found my last three computers (which I custom built from ordered parts) to be consistently reliable enough that I would let one drive me. For certain Saturn's components are a higher quality (Military Specs) than civilian components and the software has been tested thousands of times before sending it into space. Update: 11/7/23 Topics for student research
April 14, 2017, 07:28:02 AM by Kerry
These research topics are ideal for education and speech-communication majors.
TOPIC 1: Premise: Withholders attract withholders.* Overview: Both divorced partners withheld one or more significant** thoughts from their eventual marriage partner on the very first date. The thought withheld was believed to be a deal-breaker. This deceit contributed to all breakdowns in communication, negatively affecting all outcomes throughout the marriage.*** Research: Interview divorced individuals asking— "Recall something significant you withheld from your ex on your first date?" My own research has proven that all divorcees withheld something significant on their very first date. * A withhold is any significant thought withheld from a significant person for a reason. i.e. Thoughts withheld (major/minor deceits) serve as barriers to the experience of love. A thought withheld from a loved one is abusive, it dooms them to a life with few or no moments of joy. When you bring your addiction to witholding into a new relationship you automatically, non-verbally, grant your date permission to withhold their thoughts of choice from you. A person of integrity simply doesn't attract a withholder. ** Significant: A thought is considered significant if verbalizing it would cause upset or anger. The word "verbalizing" keeps to the front of the mind that withholds are always being communicated non-verbally. The other doesn't know what's in the space only that something's missing, something's wrong; this ain't love. *** Examples of thoughts withheld:
It's unethical to drag around a withhold in a marriage, it's abusive, it dooms your partner to a life with little or no joy (laughter possibly, joy, no.). TOPIC 2: Premise: Education majors require leadership training Overview: Teachers are failing to communicate subject matter. Principals are graduating students who can't ... Over the past four decades, nationwide, more and more incoming university and college freshman require remedial comprehension and composition courses. Instead of teaching education majors to communicate subject matter, universities, to survive financially, have lowered the entrance standards. Research: Beginning with the University of Hawaii gather statistics to show the number of incoming freshmen students that have required remedial courses, each year over the past four 40 years. Include the number of those freshman who eventually graduated. Overview: The Speech-Communication curriculum for education majors includes classes, courses, seminars, programs, honor courses and advanced studies, however no leadership training. The most junior military personnel (privates, corporals, seamen, and airmen) have had more leadership training than most teachers. Even teachers with some leadership training non-verbally support the retention of fellow teachers whom they know to be ineffective. Last edited 8/24/17 United passenger abuse
April 11, 2017, 05:16:19 AM by Kerry
What I've seen/heard is that a passenger was forceably removed from a United Airlines flight.
I'm not hearing answers/explanations for my considerations. My frame of reference is that 40 years ago I used to do lots of flying to and from military bases, for leaves, vacations, etc. I would sign up for standby and sit intending no-shows. Once my name had been called and my ticket accepted I was locked in, even if a no-show suddenly appeared. If a no-show appeared after I was accepted the tardy customer would then go to top of the remaining standby list but I would never be removed. Here's another confusion about the way the incident has been reported: I'm still not clear whether the passenger was first "asked" if he would be willing to... The reportage suggests that the security officer pretended to "ask," but infact he was commanding the passenger, "Sir, come with me." What was also being communicated non-verbally is: "You have no choice. Come now; if you don't come you will be forceably removed!" The passenger picked up on the premeditated physical abuse of the officer and had no choice other than to resist being abused. In other words, it appears that the officer deceived the passenger into thinking he had a choice, when in fact he had no choice other than to comply. If this be the case, the alleged "ask" was in truth a command. For example: When I ask someone for anything I must intend a yes (and, be prepared, create space for, a no), else, I am manipulating the person for the answer I want; they do not have a clear choice. Many divorced men eventually discover the effects of conning their spouse-to-be when they first met, because, if the woman had been conscious she would never have walked across the floor to ask him for a dance. She had no experience of having chosen him, ergo. the resentment of being party to a co-created-con had been stored until negotiating/controlling the divorce conditions. Last edited: 8/24/17 Communicating with President Trump—an intention
March 07, 2017, 05:21:46 AM by Kerry
Communicating with President Trump—an intention
To experience the experience of being in mutually satisfying communication with President Trump, as with anyone else, requires intention; specifically, conscious intention. Unconscious intentions produce what we've been experiencing. So far we have been unconsciously intending that the president (via his tweets) dump thoughts into our space, thoughts that leave us wondering, confused or upset. Given our present leadership-communication skills I don't have any reality that either of us (you the reader or myself) could get into communication with President Trump; it's particularly embarrassing for me given my profession as a Leadership-Relationship Communication-Skills Coach). Presently there is no system in place for us to responsibly ask for, and get, clarifications. As we've noticed from our reactions, via the media, it's altogether too easy to blame the president for this less-than mutually-satisfying way of interacting. It's the same with spousal abuse; the alleged "victim" usually blames their partner, oblivious as to his/her cause. Through coaching all "victims" can recall the fork in the road, the specific interaction, that non-verbally granted their partner permission to continue abusing.1 History refers to citizens who vote non-verbally as the "good Germans." I post here now because more often than not I'm noticing that I'm incomplete with much of what the president says; even more so because I/we haven't been effective in creating a two-way communication channel, between the president and us, that works for all concerned. Using coaching jargon, "tweets" are referred to as dumps. A dump is when one talks but doesn't provide (ensure) feedback—that is to say, we don't have a way of asking the president for clarification about any specific tweet; the media continues to be ineffective at eliciting an acknowledgment from the president for each confusing/divisive tweet. Too many times we see interviewers not asking the questions we'd ask, or, not insisting that the president answer a question, which rewards and trains him to manipulate us in a way that doesn't feel good. Addressing the above, I'd like you, the reader, to intend that President Trump accepts our2 invitation to participate in a free 3-hour televised communication consultation.3 I'm certain that after the consultation viewers everywhere will have an expanded experience of open, honest, and spontaneous communication with the president. As the facilitator-coach of the consultation with the president I will address what's in the space, the incompletes and confusions, between us. As with all coaching conversations my agreement, as the facilitator, is to not blame or make the participant wrong or communicate in a way that is abusive. In other words, for the president to agree to a consultation he must have our assurance that the consult will be a safe space to tell the truth.4 The consultation with the president is guaranteed to produce positive outcomes. Why? Because it's virtually impossible to participate in such an educational process, about leadership, communication, and mutually satisfying results, and have it not work (at least a little bit). The word “participate” is a reminder that TV viewers will also be experiencing the consultation, experiencing the experience of communication; it will impact all concerned. The exchange will generate new conversations and intentions that will support clarity. Part of what will be addressed during the consultation between President Trump and myself is setting up a communication channel that supports certainty and completion. Note: Could it be that President Trump is the leader we've been looking for? It's tempting to blame him because I/we haven't found an effective way of communicating with him. Universities model and teach the Adversarial Communication Model to its education majors—so, what we've learned is how to badmouth and blame our leaders, unawares of the karma of such abuse. President Trump presently has no choice other than to mirror our integrity. We all simply resist having to play too honest, too responsible. For the president to be honest with us we must begin by being honest within our personal relationships (—zero significant withholds). It's up to us to learn how to deliver feedback in a way that is both valued and appreciated. Support the Communicating with President Trump—an intention project. 1 Both partners must agree up-front to verbally acknowledge to the other when an interaction doesn't feel good. i.e. "I need you to tell me that you know that that didn't feel good." The partner who doesn't insist upon an abuse being acknowledged, becomes cause for all the abuse that follows. 2 "our" You and I and others. Of the est. 318 million Americans how many votes in favor of the consultation do you think it would take for President Trump to accept our invitation? 3 Our task is to intend that the President accepts our invitation for a consultation, otherwise, i believe the president will create a way of ending his presidency early [quit, relieved, impeached, or assassinated]. 4 A consultation is not about getting someone to admit fault, it's not about extracting what we want to hear. It's about creating a safe space for mutually satisfying communications to take place. Last edited 3/12/17 References: Reference #1 Reference #2 Reference #3 Other clients Support Groups About Us Workshop Critiques Mokita: A truth everyone knows that no one talks about.
February 19, 2017, 12:48:56 AM by Kerry
We ignore the fact that certain hypocrisies by parents, teachers, politicians, clergy, and the police, affect ones moral compass. The assumption being: When a teen hasn't been taught how to get high through communication, such as the Clearing Process for a Parent and a Young Person/Teen, they often try sex or drugs. Examples of our hypocrisies:
1 Here in Hawaii most agree that we have the nicest police, yet most everyone believes/knows that some "cops" steal, use, grow, or used to grow, marijuana. 2 With one or two rare exceptions the majority of high school principals have not attended a Leadership Training Program therefore teachers can count on their principal to not hold them to the standards--no excuses, no reasons. Few teachers are as strict as they know they could/should be--consequently, nationwide, for decades, 25% of all college freshmen have required remedial comprehension and compositions courses to learn what their K-12 "teachers" failed to communicate; because of reasons. 3 9/18/17: 1 in 5 Utah families can't afford enough food. Last edited 2/7/24[/list] Trump thoughts
January 26, 2017, 02:57:56 AM by Kerry
Trump supports communication mastery. We have him in our life to teach us how to communicate effectively. He is demonstrating what happens when we, all of us who communicate our upsets and incompletes non-verbally, from the couch; history refers to this way of leading as being the "good Germans."
The term for what we are putting up with (unconsciously intending) is referred to as enabling. Our silence condones* his unique way of interacting. All persistent abuse in a relationship was caused by the partner who didn't insist upon a verbal acknowledgement after the very first communication that didn't feel good. i.e. "I need you to tell me that you know that that didn't feel good." And, after each and every abusive communication. 1/25/17 Re: Trump's appointment of the new CIA Director and media reports about granting the CIA para military capabilities. If I knew that all law enforcement agencies* were absolutely committed to spousal fidelity, I'd consider granting the CIA such power. Presently, each leader of these agencies support spousal deceit. It's not just that each agency has members who are presently deceiving their spouses, it's that all others within their law enforcement communities knowingly, consciously, support the infidelities; they simply don't inspire each other to operate with integrity. They all have an understanding about the correlation between personal integrity and outcomes, it's just that they*** have not experienced it directly; ergo, they don't make any connection between mistakes, accidents, failed goals and missions (i.e. security of the nation) and the integrity of each member. For example; Members of Naval Special Warfare (Navy SEALs) operate at such a level of integrity that each member (including their spouses and all family members) know that they can't afford the consequences (the karma) of personal integrities. Cheating on taxes or not paying bills on time is simply unthinkable; all abuses between spouses are continually verbally acknowledged and completed. * Condones — definition: accept and allow (behavior that is considered morally wrong or offensive) to continue. "The practice is not officially condoned by any airline" ** Here in Hawaii most agree that we have a comparatively honest law enforcement system, however, it's a given that a significant percentage of our local law enforcement personnel are involved in one or more deceptions—such as spousal infidelities, incorrect mileage reports, late and incomplete reports. It's not just that some law enforcement personnel are out-integrity, it's that they all are, because, each fellow employee (ostensibly the "good" ones) condone (and thereby causes) these perpetrations non-verbally for fear of . . . *** David Petraeus, a former Director of the CIA, was was cheating on his wife both as the Director of the CIA and earlier as a four star general commanding U.S. Forces in Afghanistan—and now, 2/15/17, is among those President Trump is considering for the position of Secretary of State. Last edited 9/16/19 President Trump supports re-examing our definitions of abuse
January 24, 2017, 04:08:23 AM by Kerry
This post is about defining/adding to our definition of the word abuse.
Over the generations we have been refining our definition of abuse. Within memory of most seniors teachers were allowed to hit students with a switch/ruler; one of mine sprinkeld pepper on my tongue for chewing gum. More recently child and relationship healthcare professionals are addressing yelling and spanking and its affects. Daily we are experiencing communications from President Trump that prompt us to examine our definitions of the word abuse; specifically, the validity of our experience. Does it, did it, feel good? We each have our own "definitions" of the words responsibility and abuse. For forty plus years, as a leadership-relationship communication-skills coach, I have been adding to the existing definition of the word abuse. Here's what I've come up with so far; excerpted from The [free] Spouse Abuse Tutorial. Please post your thoughts. Begin Definition: Abuse: 1) Any interaction, any communication (verbal, non-verbal, physical, or psychic), that detracts from the aliveness, well-being, or serenity of another. 2) A way of acting, to include silence, withholding the truth or parts of it, avoiding (not answering/misdirecting) a question, frowning, pouting, smirking, stink-eye, rolling-eyes, thwarting, insulting, swearing, putting down, invalidating, condescending, raised voice, frightening, upsetting, shocking, yelling, screaming, jabbing, pushing, shoving, jerking, grabbing, yanking, pulling another's arm in upset, spanking, slapping, bringing to ones senses with a loving firm slap, hitting, punching, or kicking. Equally important: It is abusive to create space for the above. You have an effect on others; you communicate and produce results merely by standing silently in a crowded room. "For every action [or inaction] there is an equal and opposite reaction." Just because one is unaware of how they produced a result doesn't mean they didn't cause it. End Definition: Note: This definition is based upon what we experience when another's communication doesn't feel good. No matter what I think, a valid test for abuse is, "How did that feel?" It's understoof that in the middle of a significant communication it often doesn't feel good; what's important is that both partners are committed to mutual satisfaction upon completion. Most of us have no choice other than to abuse when we are abusing or being abused. What we do have is a choice to observe ourself having created abuse and to verbally (responsibly) acknowledge each abusive communication soonest. It's not that one is abusive to another, we've been programmed to hide upsets, thoughts, and considerations until we explode at someone; what compounds the effects of any abuse, what trains a child to later abuse his/her own children, is that his/her parents failed to verbally acknowledge each and every instance of abuse to each other in front of their child. For example: Spouse to partner or child: "I get that my yelling at you earlier today didn't feel good; I know it was abusive." Notice that the acknowledgment doesn't explain, justify or apologize for the abuse—simply acknowledging each and every instance of abuse eventually puts one in choice, to abuse or not. A responsible acknowledgment creates introspection as to its source such as recalling and relating the earliest similar abuse (the day date location etc.). Something about that first incident is incompelte. Communication completes an incomplete so that one is not at effect of what used to trigger the upset. Please help define abuse by posting your suggestions as a Reply here. (free registration required) Last edited 2/13/17
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