AN OPEN LETTER TO PARENTS FROM ONE

Dear Fellow Parent:

Because of my recent attendance at one of Kerry's weekend-long workshops on communication I would like to share my experience—for me and my daughter Michelle.

Although for years I have wanted in my heart for both of us to be able to resolve all the mistakes I made while she was growing up and to heal the hurt she continued to carry in her adult life, I was afraid of my own inability to honestly open up and share myself as well as to listen to her. Her sincere and loving invitation for me to join her on her path she had already started, in Kerry's other communication workshops with her husband Niklas, melted my heart as a parent who basically wants to see his child happy and prospering.

Believe me it was not an easy decision for me because I realized that our family life had a lot of major problems when she was growing up and I was the major mess-up in parenting. I stepped over that fear in hope that my involvement with her in this workshop would remove many of the walls of misunderstanding so that our remaining years in this life could be mutually honest and supportive between a father and daughter.

My major concern was my own personal fear that this would be a weekend of blame and recrimination towards me and all my "bad parenting" and mistakes. The exact opposite was the case for me and all the attendees. The workshop is skillfully guided through discussions and one-on-one exercises and interactions to keep the focus on openness not blame. All of this happened in a very safe private supportive atmosphere run by other loving people [ten workshop volunteers, a.k.a. Assistants] who have gone through this experience themselves and wish to give that gift of love and support back to others.

I wish I could share all the sensations and the flow of new love and understanding that opened up between my daughter and I as well as rediscovering the original love and hopes we had for each other. I was both touched and honored by so many other attendees who were so moved by my presence with my daughter and how each of them longed to have that same experience with their parents. The people I met that were presenting this workshop were not trying to hide their love and understanding but are committed to opening that up to you.

This workshop has proven to be central to me and my daughter's future life with new understanding, mutual respect and a sincere desire for happiness towards each other. I volunteered this "open letter" to all who care to send it on to their parents in the hopes that it will move your heart to share this experience with your child while there is still time.

In closing I realize there is a lot of hurt and misunderstanding between ourselves and our children which might scare us from dealing with it, as it almost did me, but please don't let that stand in the way of that real closeness you can still have with your children no matter what the age.

Sincerely & lovingly,

Michael O'Hearn

P.S. I would be honored to receive phone calls from interested but uncertain parents to help dispel any fear or to answer any questions they may have - (408) 426-xxxx) [Number available on request —Kerry]

Reprinted by Community Communications with Michael and Michelle's permission—please feel free to copy and or forward this to others.