A news release I'd like to read:Elen Woods acknowledges responsibility for Tiger's behavior.I'm writing to correct the misunderstanding about Tiger and myself. I'll begin with the fact that I have spitefully withheld from the public my responsibility for intending the pending divorce, and because of this I have supported the press in slamming Tiger as though I were an innocent victim. What follows is the other side of the coin.
While the results clearly show that it's been my intention all along to divorce Tiger, I know now that this was an unconscious intention. I had very few clear thoughts as to what I was up to or when I began consciously intending the divorce. I do know that with my first suspicion I did not sit Tiger down and say, “No more or I'll divorce you and sue for ½ of everything, with no second chance.” Worse yet, I did not include a
fidelity agreement in our wedding vows. This was arrogance on my part, thinking that I was somehow better, more capable, more loving, more special, than the millions of divorced women who honestly and sincerely believed that cheating would not take place in their marriage
I assure you that from my perspective I'm the one who masterminded our pending divorce. I'm the one who drove Tiger into the arms of other women. It was my leadership communication skills that produced this result. I'm the one who was not a safe space for Tiger to tell the truth—I simply don't know how to create a safe space for certain truths to be told. Sadly I've discovered that my integrity has been such that I did not inspire respect and honesty, that Tiger merely mirrors my integrity. Most importantly, again from my perspective, I was the one who began the deceit between us in our relationship.
To illustrate: Back when we were engaged I was not in communication with Tiger. I had become stuck doing my
imitation of communication. In truth I was out-integrity. I had accumulated a lifetime of withholds, abuses, deceits, and deceptions (perpetrations) many of which I did not share with Tiger. This began the deceit between us. Tiger mirrored my out-integrity. It gave Tiger permission to
withhold his thoughts of choice from me so that I could withhold certain thoughts from him.
While it can be argued that cheating is more deceitful, in truth deceit is deceit. Had I been in-integrity I would have immediately noticed that Tiger was withholding some thought from me, such is the space between two committed to communicating openly, honestly, and spontaneously. I do sense that among couples who are in-integrity it's virtually impossible for one to withhold any thought from the other else neither can look the other in the eye without having to look away. I knew this and did not insist that Tiger sit down and tell me what's going on that he couldn't look me in the eyes for long without having to turn away. Of course, for him to tell me the truth I would first have had to share my deepest thoughts with him, (motivations, considerations, childhood perpetrations, the cons I've run on others, etc.) to include my beliefs about what would happen if he ever cheated on me. My silence, not communicating clearly, that I would sue for ½ was not fair. In fact I did not make it clear that cheating was one thing I would not tolerate, that it would mean automatic divorce with no second chances, and, that I'd sue for ½ of everything.
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