Reunion Conversations v 6.22

Definitions: Acknowledgments

Acknowledgment: An acknowledgment (a.k.a. ack) is any verbal, non-verbal, psychic, or physical communication with self, or another, that affirms a result. I.e. I want you to know that I, or you, or we, produced a result. An ack is often a judgment or an evaluation. Some examples: good, not good, ("that didn't feel good," or "that felt good,"),  late, ("I got that I'm late" or "You're late").

An acknowledgment can be conscious or unconscious. One can be unaware that they are acknowledging themselves or another non-verbally (such as shunning another or slowly destroying oneself with say, drugs).

We unconsciously, non-verbally, acknowledge our teachers for letting us get away with shoddy work by humiliating them, forcing our mentors to beg for higher wages and school supplies.  

Some examples of acknowledgments:

Non-verbal irresponsible blaming-make-wrong of ones parents, [I'll show you, I'll fail in life and relationships; I refuse to succeed, I don't want you to think you did a good job]. The mind will kill itself to be right so as to make another wrong.

I did well, or poorly.
You did well, or poorly.
That feels good/doesn't feel good.
I feel bad/good.
You look like you feel . . . 
I want to be acknowledged for doing . . ./not doing . . .
I get that I lied to you.
I get that I cheated on . . . 
I get that I was abusive.
I'm late.
I'm uncomfortable. You look uncomfortable/happy.
I feel so great when I'm around you.

I acknowledge* that I do not recall ever applying myself in high school, I don't recall studying something because I wanted to learn more about it. I acknowledge that I approached studying with the idea in mind to do as little as possible. I seldom experienced being comfortable with anyone during high school, I left the community without saying goodbye to anyone.

Non-verbal: There's something that's bothering me about our relationship and so I avoid you as much as possible. Or, I'm uncomfortable or embarrassed in your presence and I don't know how to fix it. I admire you and I'm embarrassed to tell you verbally—so I'm stuck.

With self: As in, mistreating ones body, by eating, smoking, drinking, cutting, etc.. In other words, if I damage myself enough it might get someone's attention (this is referred to as a setup). Being homeless is a covert way of acknowledging others, "Look, see what you did to me!" (getting one's attention and then ensuring their support doesn't work). 

* The words, "I acknowledge" or "I get" are not necessary however they do create a context for the listener; it sometimes reminds them to put on their "getting it" cap and to do nothing (if possible) with what follows. "If possible" meaning, that for some it's simply not possible to just "get" (be with)  another's communication. However, because I have played the communication game for a long time I'm quite skilled at getting stuff. That is to say, if you shared with me that you ran over someone I believe I would reply, "Thanks, I got that. Anything else about that?" Not, "You what? [judgment]. Boy that was stupid! [make wrong]. Did you call the police? [condescension/helping]"