Community Blog -- Click "New Topic" to post your thoughts.1 ... 6 7 [8] 9 10 11 Thoughts about So. American illegal immigrants
March 19, 2016, 04:48:22 AM by Kerry
Reduced to its fundamentals:
About Trump's proposed border wall
March 19, 2016, 04:29:11 AM by Kerry
About Trump's proposed border wall:
I'm suspect about the absence of media coverage about the costs for designing, constructing, and maintaining a wall along the entire border between Mexico and the US. Apparently Trump plans on forcing (boycotting) Mexico to pay and build such a wall. Re: GlobalSecurity.org: Depending upon its height and material concrete/razor wire (electrified or not) Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff . . . estimates the cost between four and eight billion dollars . . ." Mexico's present debt is around 700 million dollars—between 5 and 6 thousand dollars of debt per Mexican. A wall is not possible given the present economy. Trump seems to ignore the fact that all pet projects of Presidents are thwarted simply on principle. Trump's attitude about bankruptcy is an indicator of the lack of concern and compassion he has for the financial success of others. Trump's communication model is referred to as adversarial; it produces us/them, friction and fighting, and of course, wars.. About The Course in Miracles.
February 21, 2016, 01:54:43 AM by Kerry
What's with The Course in Miracles? It contains a wealth of knowledge in support of manifesting intentions. Its focus is a way to inner peace through forgiveness.1 What causes people to begin The Course, and actually produce a few miracles, and then quit, as though it stopped working? The Course has been around for decades; why then aren't Course participants raving to everyone about how great it is? —even Amway has better enrollment stats.
What I've noticed among those I've known who started The Course is something similar to what "happens" with most (99%) of newly licensed masseuses, rebirthers, real estate agents, and Amway distributors—they eventually give up. Part of the reason is because none of the instructors promoting such courses insist that each Course applicant complete The Clearing Process for Professionals (the free process is about restoring and maintaining ones integrity). Most "Course" instructors know about and understand the correlation between personal integrity and results; it's just that they have not experienced it directly. For example: A masseuse who doesn't honor all of his/her agreements2 with others, one who goes to work without acknowledging their most recent perpetration(s), their most recent condescending abusive remark to a loved one, one who is dragging around hundreds of unacknowledged perpetrations (mostly childhood incompletes) into each interaction (each massage), is ignorant about the effects of the vibrations of ones integrity (one's spin) on another. They have not experienced receiving a "true" massage, or being in-communication with someone who is in-integrity. Most masseuses experience disappointment when their clients don't recommend them to friends, when clients don't rave about the awesome enlightening experience of their massages. What's so is, most massages feel good; few are a transformational/spiritual experience. To have a significant positive effect on another a healer must operate with impeccable integrity.3 Massage is an extremely profound communication; the breathing and conversations during a massage always always have a profound effect on both the client and the masseuse. There is no profound experience from a massage delivered by someone with a "loving act," someone who is not in open, honest, and spontaneous communication—zero thoughts withheld, with at least one person. If you've had a massage and it was not transformational, if it didn't also affect your personal relationship(s), then your masseuse does not have a Guru or a leadership-relationship communication-skills coach on speed dial. And, you have not been in open, honest, and spontaneous communication with your masseuse. Both of you have thoughts you've withheld from each other. Another example: All new Amway sales reps have been "told" about creating a "tickler" card file to remind them when to call a customer for another order of laundry detergent. Most start out following the recommended procedure but within months their integrity is such that they "forget" to call in time. In other words, they are so out integrity, their mind is so clouded with life's unacknowledged perpetrations, that they can't see the correlation between their integrity and results. They have yet to commit themselves to honoring their own agreements. The sales stop coming; eventually, most former Amway reps end up buying Tide. What's also true is that most Amway customers discover that they have been conned, that the cleaning difference between costly Amway detergent and detergents sold at Walmart is virtually imperceptible. In other words, their sales person "friend" exaggerated (lied) so as to make money. The same applies to The Course in Miracles. If a Course participant, as a teen, conned a date into deceiving both set of parents so as to have sex, and has not acknowledged that deceit to anyone, then they are trying to make life work without cleaning up life's perpetrations; as one would expect, the miracles stop coming. Notice how few, if any, communications you've received from former acquaintances intent on cleaning up past abuses, yet all Course and Alcohol Anonymous participants are advised to make amends, to clean up, to restore their integrity? Another example: If one reads about The Course in Miracles, they eventually discover that there are other communication variables one must address enroute to mastery—so as to consistently manifest their stated intentions. Again, doing the course (even half-assed) is extremely valuable because it reveals that there is more. Another example: University speech-communication curriculums only introduce education and health care majors to the principles and fundamentals of communication; mastery thereafter is trial and error. It can be said the university courses work because one discovers that what's being taught is guaranteed to produce mediocrity; ironically, one must do the Sp-Com courses to discover this. Few graduates who complete all the Sp-Com courses a university has to offer can communicate any more openly, honestly, and spontaneously with their parents than they could as a freshman. 1 Most disciplines work if practiced exactly as proscribed; many discover that a discipline that failed to work was simply another requirement en route to enlightenment. The Course in Miracles requires impeccable integrity for it to work consistently; few who start the book completely read it, even fewer do all the processes in The Course of Miracles. It's much the same as those who bought L. Ron Hubbard's book Dianetics. Such courses prove the adage, "One can't get past the mind, to the self, using the mind." A truth read is not communicated, it doesn't get gotten as when it is communicated. (Read Military Academy Scandals—a story) 2 When you break an agreement with another (don't show up on time, don't do as you say you'll do) it causes stress and upset) —in other words, it detracts from the person's aliveness—it's both abusive and unhealthy. 3 You'll know you have a professional masseuse, if he/she is in-integrity, if your first appointment is a sit-down clearing process during which time you will be guided in acknowledging life's perpetrations. All therapies, supplements, and exercising are ultimately to no avail if your integrity is out. Last edited 8/2/23 Open letter to Sue Klebold (Columbine parent)
February 16, 2016, 06:16:34 AM by Kerry
Heads up: This could be uncomfortable/upsetting to read, especially, if you are addicted to withholding and blaming. As you read the following, notice which specific sentence triggers upset or disagreement?
Hi Sue,* I just (2/16/16) heard your interview on HPR-1 (Hawaii). It triggered several considerations I've had over the years, about your realizations and how you were/are communicating them.** I heard several statements during the interview that revealed a universal misunderstanding about the word responsibility. Not to worry, no two teachers in any school have and operate from the same definition. Yah, I know, it sounds like a gross exaggeration, however, it's true; none can verbally communicate a definition from any dictionary (each is slightly/significantly different). Few could communicate their their home-made definition*** of the word responsibility to a ten-year-old who would then be able to both remember the definition and relate its essence to a parent. Most dictionary definitions leave one even more confused, all of which help explain why a customer addicted to blaming successfully sued McDonald's for a coffee burn and another successfully sued a tobacco company for lung cancer. An article quotes Sue--
Perhaps you think that your teenage perpetrations (lies, deceits, thefts, verbal abuses, the ones for which you have not been caught) have not been producing consequences, compounded over the years. Such incompletes definitely sap one's awareness. I.e. My childhood lies to my parents (or dates) had absolutely nothing to do with the event. Depending upon our arrogance we each create our own appropriate comeuppance. Sue, is it possible that the incident was your karma? Perhaps you conned your first boyfriend into deceiving both sets of parents so as to have sex behind their backs? Maybe you thought there were no consequences for deceiving your creators? Perhaps you still believe he seduced you. BTW: Children have no choice other than to mirror the integrity of their parents. For your consideration, I recommend The Clearing Process. --it's free and it works. Once a parent has completed the process they can then do the Clearing Process for a Parent and a Young Person/Teen each evening. It supports mutually satisfying open, honest, and spontaneous communication--zero significant thoughts withheld. It acknowledges the correlation between personal integrity and outcomes; specifically, the results we produce (using our leadership communication-skills) for ourselves and for those with whom we relate. Most children have no choice other than to mirror the integrity of their parents; some resist being like--others succumb to being like one or both. Those closest around me mirror my integrity. The Columbine incident reveals that there are one or more incompletes in Sue's relationships with her parents. Most undesirable results are a consequence of our unacknowledged perpetrations (mostly childhood abuses, deceits, lies, badmouthing, etc. --interactions we arrogantly think we got away with).**** Most use the clearing process to restore and then maintain their integrity; an alias user name is fine. * Sue is the mother of Dylan Klebold, one of the Columbine High School shooters. ** As you become clear and share your responsibility for the incident the more parents worldwide will get value from your experience. I look forward to another interview and book. *** More accurately, all teachers communicate their definition non-verbally; most teachers have one or more incidents in their life for which they resist having caused. Ergo, the confusion for students who eventually, like yourself, become parents. Note: Teacher's less-than-satisfying wages mirror their leadership-relationship communication skills. **** What you're looking for is the very first breakdown in communication with your son, the specific incident from which neither of you fully recovered through to hugs and laughing. Notice that you had become stuck doing your imitation of communication with your son; he was carrying around hundreds of thoughts that he stuffed when around you. Conversely, you were not a safe space for him to share his darkest thoughts--he had no choice other than to dramatize them. More Thoughts on the Shooting With aloha, Kerry Last edited 6/16/23 Keep El Chapo in Mexico
February 10, 2016, 06:20:04 AM by Kerry
I'm not understanding why the US is trying to get Mexican drug lord 'El Chapo' back into the US for trial and incarceration. The trial and costs to keep him in prison will be in the millions. Why not let Mexico bear the costs of their home grown outlaw? Eventually Mexico will start building escape-resistant prisons.
Communication Game for Couples
January 23, 2016, 04:47:31 AM by Kerry
The following conversation topics are for primary relationship couples. The topics support mutually satisfying, open, honest, and spontaneous communication, no thoughts withheld. If after reading this you realize that you're afraid to ask your partner to do the communication game with you, then it's possible you have been masterminding a divorce (albeit unconsciously).* —with that in mind, either way you handle this invitation is a fork in the road—more of the same or a new 'n improved relationship. It's an experience of choice. The premise: Once you consciously choose to withhold a thought from your partner you have unethically, abusively, doomed them to a life of mediocrity; You will continue to cause upsets** and breakdowns in communication—with little or no joy or ecstasy—and, you'll find yourself blaming them. Your integrity affects everyone with whom you relate. One cannot experience the experience of love and have withholds with another. Love and deceit cannot exist in the same space (what most call love is merely the concept of love). Until you choose to be open and honest neither you nor your partner can experience the joy, of being in-communication (of genuine intercourse), of love. Questions for couples to take turns asking each other:
* All divorced couples simultaneously withheld specific thoughts from each other on their first date, thereby unconsciously granting each other permission to deceive the other (both brought their addiction to deceit into the relationship; such thoughts are usually considered to be deal-breaking). With 44+ years of coaching thousands I have not found any exceptions to this entanglement-like phenomenon—Kerry For example: A deal-breaking thought is one which, if shared verbally, would most likely result in them not wanting to date you again. Examples: Herpes or an STD, prior physical abuse, police record, exaggerations, you have children, another would be upset if they knew you were dating, expecting/planning to have or not have sex, and the biggie, a dysfunctional family from whom you have not responsibly estranged yourself (a family addicted to blaming, abuse, and arguing, one you will submit your partners to)—definitely not a gift of love. BTW: We are always communicating our withholds non-verbally. Others experience us as completely open and honest or somewhat emotionally bound up. Read Must-reads for engaged couples. ** The cause of, the source of, a prolonged upset, one that's carried forward into similar arguments, is never ever what either believe it to be. In truth, both are withholding their thought of choice from the other. *** "Exactly like" meaning: Similar disposition, same commitment to honesty, leadership-communication skills, same degree of respect for all others. Engaged couples will get value from reading Must-have conversations during your engagement. Last edited 3/14/24[/list] Concealed Carry—creates a different communication model.
January 02, 2016, 04:40:27 AM by Kerry
Concealed Carry—creates a different communication model.
One of the benefits of allowing citizens to carry conceal weapons (usually a pistol carried in a pouch or a holster secreted somewhere under clothing) is that it automatically causes citizens to be more polite in the company of strangers (specifically, potential crazies). During Wild West times one couldn’t be certain which stranger was looking to be killed (goading arguments)—today the behavior is referred to as "suicide by cop." A condescending attitude you have that you might not be aware of could be experienced non-verbally as disrespectful. As such, cowboys treated each other with prison-like respect. Returning home alive often depended upon ones manners. At first glance Concealed Carry might appear to be a benefit however, a person who is “carrying” causes others to be even less open and honest and spontaneous with them; others withhold even more thoughts, mostly judgmental ones—differing opinions, thoughts-feedback essential to another’s personal growth—partly because of fear. An entire community that “carries” dramatizes their withholds non-verbally instead of delivering their withholds verbally, responsibly, through to mutual satisfaction. Navy SEALs—in pursuit of excellence
December 15, 2015, 06:14:28 AM by Kerry
Professionals such as Navy SEAL/s, pilots, and surgeons—those in pursuit of excellence—eventually give up blaming and assigning reasons for malfunctions and failures; they can no longer afford to ignore the correlation between personal integrity and outcomes-missions-goals. It's not that the word accident disappears from their vocabulary, it's that an "accident" most always reveals that one's integrity was out. Something was occupying the space; something (an incomplete) sapped one's awareness). The more powerful one is willing to be the more one is willing to look at an accident from cause (most always an unconscious one).
For example: A pilot who survives a crash in which everyone else dies, wonders for life, if the crash had anything to do with his marital infidelity. It's not that there is proof that unacknowledged perpetrations such as deceits cause accidents, it's that we intuit it. What is true is—if one is daily maintaining his/her integrity (if all perpetrations have been responsibly communicated) one can eliminate one's out-integrity as a cause for an unexpected outcome. If it's not my integrity then it must be my leadership-communication skills—or an unconscious intention. Opinion: As the world's foremost elite military unit today's Navy SEALs are committed to communication mastery; they are continually confronting the correlation between personal integrity and outcomes-missions-goals. Such a curriculum leads one to master dieting to include acknowledging the effects of alcohol on brain cells and performance. SEALs will eventually have the reputation of performing and living with impeccable integrity—of being enlightened—each team member having the both the skills and the integrity of a Shaolin monk. Last edited 3/6/24 News I'm not hearing
November 10, 2015, 04:49:49 AM by Kerry
News I'm not hearing:
1) The status of our United Nation's Membership Dues? I refer to the fact that the USA has not been paying its membership dues for several years. Minimally I'd like to know that a mutually satisfying agreement been made between the US and the UN. For more about the $51 million past due dues click here. It begs the questions: —does our enabling the thwarting of another's prosperity affect our own? —does our breaking an agreement not give another permission to break theirs with us? 2) Has Donald Trump paid those whom he owed before he declared bankruptcy? If not, it speaks volumes about the karma that's due him—until he supports others as he would his family members. 3) The names of the merchants and the specific amounts each lost financially because Trump declared bankruptcy. 4) I've yet to hear Hillary Clinton communicate responsibly her cause for the infidelities. 5) Date: 11/10. It has been ten days after the 10/31 crash of the Russian airplane and the news has yet to confirm if it was sabotage. Something is fishy for the following reasons: Airplane crash investigators have access to portable electronic sniffers that can detect residue vapors of explosives. They also can tell instantly by looking at the various airplane parts if the metal is bent outward indicating an inside blast. All countries involved have explosive sniffing dogs—all these tests could be accomplished within an hour of arriving at the debris field. 6) I haven't heard any mention in the popular media of the correlation between climate change and the Milankovitch cycle. "Milankovitch theory describes the collective effects of changes in the Earth's movements upon its climate, named after Serbian geophysicist and astronomer Milutin Milanković. Milanković mathematically theorized that variations in eccentricity, axial tilt, and precession of the Earth's orbit determined climatic patterns on Earth through orbital forcing." —Wikipedia In other words, we are at the mercy of the earth's orientation; co2 levels will eventually be the least of our worries. 7) Part of the success of Uber is that drivers have been able to charge less for rides because, unlike taxi companies, Uber drivers are not yet required to carry extremely expensive accident and medical insurance. Once Uber drivers are required to display proof of current insurance it will result in far fewer Uber drivers. One serious Uber accident law suit will ensure that all cab drivers have the same expenses. Presently, you must try and get your personal liability insurance company to pay for your Uber caused medical costs. Considerations: a homeless person's intentions
October 27, 2015, 05:18:01 AM by Kerry
A communication workshop participant once told me that the day after her weekend-long workshop she arrived late at the hospital bedside of her mother who was surrounded by the family. The very space was deadening with low and respectful voices, as though her mother had already died. She immediately asked everyone if she could have a moment alone with her mother. When everyone had left she asked her mother: "So what's up Mom, do you want to live or die? —I need to know so that I can support your intention." The mother hesitated, clearly considering the significance of the question, and then said, "Thanks sweetheart, I hadn't thought of it as a choice; I'd like to live a few more years." The rest of the story is quite inspiring—the mom became the first grandmother to graduate from US Army Ranger Training. NOT!
It's clear to me that most homeless people have not consciously chosen to be living as they do. Their's is an unconscious decision they made long ago after a specific upset; it's an in-your-face communication of blaming contempt and disrespect they have for the rest of us.1 For certain they are not clear about their intentions; few have a vision. They have lapsed into their victim-mode. Most will say they don't blame their parents, teachers, clergy, and the government yet they clearly prove to everyone that we all have lapsed into doing our imitation of communication with them. The premise being: When a problem is defined accurately, when the truth is told, when communication takes place, the problem disappears. One such truth that's seldom heard by a homeless person is:
If truth be told I'm petrified of being in-communication with anyone because I know that if I start communicating responsibly, from cause, I'll have to give up blaming and trying to make others feel guilty, of forcing them to put up with my vagrancy; the game would over. I'd have to get off my ass and pull my own weight. Mo betta to get pitiful handouts and squat on Hawaii's most expensive property. Programs such as "No Child Left Behind," "Race to the Top, or Common Core," and all the other promising programs, will only produce more of the same if we continue to implement them using the prevailing communication model taught to education majors nationwide. 1 Each, with coaching, can recall the specific age, year, and place they had the realization that no matter how bad it gets, I can always check into an agency that cares for homeless people. If I screw up enough I can always con someone for food and shelter and then, when recovered enough, return to living like a troll. Their philosophy is based on a life-time of experiences of conning and being conned. They know with absolute certainty that cons (health-care professionals) can always be conned; cons such as family, managers, clergy, and teachers, can't be respected because they are so easily conned. I.e. Every single one conned me into conning them, none were aware that they had lapsed into doing their imitation of communication with me. With fairly effective therapists I'd just quit therapy before they got too close, and, they'd let me; none knew how to get into communication with me so as effect a permanent transformation, yet all drawing salaries for being ineffective. 2 A child will do anything to restore the experience of love and communication that once was; they will misbehave, fail in school, get sick or even draw the attention of social workers or the police so as to communicate that they are not in-communication with anyone. Last edited 10/14/19
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