The following is a reply to an article in The Blast, which is of value if you are willing to communicate about your health issues responsibly, from cause. Here's some thoughts about The Blast's article, "PTSD: TREAT THE EPIDEMIC IN OUR RANKS."
*From a communication-skills coach's point of view a problem persists because it's not being defined accurately, the truth disappears a problem; disappearing a mental/health problem requires that both the patient and the health-care professional use the same definition of the word responsibility.
I.e. I'm betting that if one were to ask all the world's "leaders" (teachers, judges, politicians, and military) to write down the definition of the word responsibility you'd get as many home-grown definitions as there are leaders. Responsibility is not taught through to clarity in our schools or our leadership academies (see elaborations — "military academy").
Three typical definitions of responsibility:
1. Blaming-Denial: "I'm not responsible." "It just happened." "I wouldn't get so mad if you didn't . . ." "I didn't say anything, he just hit me."
2. 50-50: "I'll accept 50% responsibility for . . . ", "I'll accept my part . . ." (with the implied, ". . . if you admit your part first.")
3. 100%: "Although I can't see it right now I am willing to communicate about the incident from the point of view, that I, using my verbal, non-verbal, physical, and psychic leadership-communication skills (apparently unconsciously) caused (intended) the result."
**Premises:
1) Understanding responsibility is as far from knowing as is not-knowing. —as evidenced with the ineffectual blaming communications of the "Me too" movement; most of us have unconsciously non-verbally supported their blaming. Blaming doesn't complete an incident nor is it mutually satisfying.
2) Just because one doesn't know how they produced a result doesn't mean they didn't produce it.
3) Vets who have elicited a "diagnoses" of PTSD are withholding one or more significant thoughts from someone of significance.
***4) One's belief as to the source of their PTSD causes "it" to persist; a belief shuts down the mind to possibilities.
5) One can't complete something they aren't willing to have caused (intended)—such as an "accident" or marital infidelity. I.e. "My personal integrity had absolutely nothing to do with the incident." "She left me." "He cheated on me."
6) Talking causes a problem to persist whereas communication disappears a problem. A failing/misbehaving teen (with an "attitude") is communicating that they are not in-communication with anyone—that all concerned (parents, teachers, social workers, clergy) have become stuck doing their imitation of communication with each other and the teen. All parents of "school shooters" believed they were in-communication with their teen, none were aware of the fork-in-the-road incident that shut down loving supportive communication between them.
7) It's virtually impossible to "cure" PTSD when the payoff is continued "disability" payments. Typically, the health-care professional and the patient are not aligned with a step-by-step agreed upon measurable, observable, outcome; both have become stuck doing their imitation of communication.
8 ) A pilot who survives a crash in which others died wonders, for life, if the "accident" was a consequence of his/her mind being partially preoccupied with their marital infidelity or of having one or more "purposeful errors/sneaky omissions" on some application form. The curriculum for communication mastery addresses personal integrity as a communication variable; "accidents," misunderstandings, thwartings, and broken time-agreements are considered to be integrity wake-up calls.
9) One way to address and complete your addictions (deception, arrogance, self-righteousness) is to give a communication-skills coach permission to mirror you; such addictions always have a childhood fork-in-the-road incident that anchored the behavior. Here's another fork in the road: Ask your partner if they think a session with a leadership-relationship communication-skills coach might enhance the relationship.
The curriculum for inter/intra-personal communication mastery (the ability to consistently manifest one's stated intentions) begins with creating/restoring-recreating ones integrity—via journaling or a clearing process such as, The [free] Clearing Process for Professionals—the process supports one in restoring/maintaining his/her integrity—it acknowledges the correlation between personal integrity and outcomes.
* Re: "A much more potent initiator of PTSD is when [sic] a person is responsible, or feels responsible, for the ... incident. —Col Mulvaney"
Myself, as a coach, I've yet to come across someone who was not willing to communicate responsibly their cause for an outcome; when one denies responsibility for an outcome it becomes an integrity issue, it begins to affect one's mental and physical health. Most always the source of an incident is an unconscious agenda to support completion of an incomplete (specifically, an out-integrity). —Kerry
** When all concerned communicate responsibly (from cause) it virtually eliminates arguing, blaming, and excuses.
*** It's not that one's infidelity, or an unacknowledged childhood lie, or a purposeful error/omission on their insurance, tax, or loan application form, causes an injury/accident, it's that a leader/healer knows to begin a counseling, completion-clearing session with, "What thoughts come to mind if this incident is/was about you paying yourself back for . . .?" Note: The asker must operate from impeccable integrity, else, as Col Mulvaney discovered, "They most always lied." That the Col had to instruct them, "This time fill it out honestly," speaks volumes about the Adversarial Communication Model (taught and used by all teachers and of course the NSW community). Eventually, Team Leaders will conduct integrity clearings during mission briefings. I.e. "Anyone got something that might affect the success of the mission?"
One can't be certain as to the source of a problem until they acknowledge all possibilities, including the consequences/karma for an unacknowledged perpetration or an unacknowledged good deed. Most people ignorantly and arrogantly try to achieve and sustain the experience of love, health, and prosperity without acknowledging and cleaning up life's perpetrations.
Note 1: The majority of teachers, counselors, and therapists have taken only the required speech-communication courses, a mere fraction of what's known about inter/intra-personal communication; like all graduates they must then practice on others to master communication. Rarely does a clergy member (or a therapist) ask a coach for support with someone not responding favorably to counseling—as such, few inspire fidelity; most all leaders en route to mastery are withholding one or more significant thoughts from someone of significance—deception as an addiction has not been addressed nor completed. Employees have no choice other than to mirror the integrity of their leader; so too do our leaders mirror the integrity of, say, the country.
Note 2: Dr. Carrie Elk, The Elk Institute for Psychological Health and Performance, <
http://www.drcarrieelk.com] > states, "
most traumas can be completed in one to five sessions." Counselors and coaches know that what a person states to be their problem is never ever the problem—it doesn't address the source of the problem. A vet becomes programmed to describing what "happened" but not what was going on in his/her mind seconds, minutes, hours, days prior to the incident, the intention (albeit an unconscious one) that created space for, that manifested, the result.
Note 3: It doesn't matter whether any of the above is true or not, what matters is that we openly engage in such conversations.
Consider sharing the Communication-Skills Tutorial for Veterans <
https://www.comcom121.org/vets/ > with the community—it's free and it works.
With aloha,
Kerry
Kerrith H. (Kerry) King
UDT-21, Class 20 (E)
Unofficial UDT-SEAL Obituary Records Manager
P.S. I'm forever grateful to my BUD/S Instructors for teaching me the art of button-pushing and, with problem-solving, to think outside the box. It ain't easy being green.
Feel free to use, quote, publish, or ignore.
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A sloth walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bar tender says, "You better hurry. We close in 5 hours."
