The Gift of Trump--a mirror

[Kerry]

The Gift of Trump--a mirror

As a communicologist, a Leadership-Relationship Communication-Skills Coach, it's disconcerting and uncomfortable to be continually reminded that President Trump mirrors my integrity, my addiction to blaming, to being incomplete, to not doing complete work. Of course, I immediately want to add, and, he mirrors your integrity and everyone else's world-wide. However, the uncomfortable truth is that I (albeit unconsciously) have been intending for Trump to communicate exactly as he has been. I find that intending what's so to-be-so is more healthy, it virtually eliminates the karma of blaming.

I assume the above is true for almost everyone--especially those who like myself are addicted to irresponsible blaming and badmouthing. I.e.  "That jerk!" "They always ..." "He lies all the time." Obviously, the karma for non-verbal, extremely effective, blaming is what's "happening" in the world today.

Like yourself, it hasn't gotten bad enough for me to lead responsibly; instead, I  lead non-verbally from the position of a blog-posting-couch-potato and take whatever results I get.  I haven't been willing to do what it would take to effect a mutually satisfying conversation with any elected representative, let alone The President. Like yourself, I've left it up to others to run the important things.

It's going to be interesting to see if we'll be able to tell at what moment in time it will be too late. It's a question that most "good" Germans still can't answer accurately. Myself, I won't be able to say, "I didn't know it was that bad." We do know that we can cause President Trump to blame us; after all, it's our/my present leadership-communication skills that empower him.

Like Diogenes, we're all looking outside for "an honest man" to vote for, we keep forgetting that others always perfectly mirror our integrity.  I.e. Rare is a Police Chief who inspires relationship fidelity within his/her department, or even consistently accurate, on time, daily reports.   

BTW: What turns badmouthing* into positive support is to follow up criticism with one or more solutions such as--to intend leadership training nationwide.

Three considerations:
 
1) Beginning with my B.A. and M.A. degrees in Speech-Communication I've experienced that Speech-Communication Professors have been using the Adversarial Communication Model** to teach education majors to communicate subject matter; this communication model, this way of interacting/relating, keeps producing more of the same us/them results. However, it's not Trump's, or even our, fault. We emulate the ground of being of our teachers during our violent arguments with loved ones. If truth be told we are no more accurate or honest with each other than Trump is in his tweets. Most everyone is hiding one or more significant thoughts from someone of significance, oblivious of the karma of such deceit.

2) Twenty-five percent of all college applicants nationwide require remedial comprehension or composition courses to learn what their K-12 "teachers" failed to communicate. Obviously, remedial courses generate more revenue. Adding Leadership Training would result in far fewer graduates for the first few years, however, those that graduated would be teachers who could be trusted to communicate subject matter (no reasons no excuses). 

3) I'm unaware of any high-school, college, university, seminary, or military academy*** that require graduates to have completed a Leadership Training Program (one three-hour session each week, each semester, for all four years). What is offered are communication classes, courses, seminars, honor courses, private studies and groups, and workshops--which keep producing education majors who are afraid to communicate as they know-how. Included in leadership training is the direct personal experience of the effects of deceits on outcomes and a commitment to communicating openly, honestly, and spontaneously--zero significant thoughts withheld. A Leadership Training Program automatically includes follow-up 3-hr Support Group Meetings every other week throughout each school year--for life. Without constant positive support one slowly becomes more and more out-integrity, affecting all outcomes. The word "positive" reminds us that most people are unaware that they support mediocrity.

* "badmouthing" --any blaming conversation with another about a problem after which things remain the same. Badmouthing is an unconscious intention for things to slowly worsen; it reveals one's addiction to thwarting and to abusive blaming. Verbal and non-verbal badmouthing abusively saps energy from those who unconsciously intend it.

** The Adversarial Communication Model supports and enables withholding, irresponsible blaming, badmouthing, and verbal abuse. There is a leadership-relationship communication model (a way of relating and interacting) that works for all concerned--however, it can't be taught in a school system in which the principal does not have complete hiring and/or reassigning authority overall students and staff.

*** Military Academy Scandals

Last edited 2/12/24