Drugs: pg. 1


". . . adults are so used to lying that they can't hear many of their own lies. They have completely forgotten how hypocritical and transparent they are to teens." —Kerry, Communication Skills Coach

A Definition of Drugs:

Any mind or mood altering substance.

Including, but not limited to, caffeine, alcohol, sugar, chocolate, marijuana, nicotine, kava kava, methamphetamine, heroin, cocaine, ayahuasca, ecstasy, and all the various uppers and downers.

Note: Some are legal and others are illegal. Most police have one or more mood and mind-altering cups of coffee each day yet adults tell you that coffee is bad or at least not good for you.

Drug-free people will tell you that once you have purged your system of life's stimulants, medications and legal/illegal drugs that you will notice the buzz you get from sugar or a chocolate bar. And, that monitoring your sugar is perhaps even harder than giving up the illegal drugs. Actually, the ideal is not to give up sugar but to be able to use it sensibly in support of health.

Those who favor legalization of marijuana argue that a conscious person would use grass intelligently (with moderation) such as they do in the Netherlands.* 

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Why do most teens ignore their parents when it comes to drugs?

Most teens have not been taught how to create joy through a single sit-down conversation—because their parents have stopped studying communication. Most teens are bored; they are not being challenged. The vast majority are not in open, honest, and spontaneous communication with their parents; virtually all teens are hiding one or more significant thoughts from their parents.** There are few, if any, moments of joyous love within the family.

A teen experiences the hypocrisy of adults including their own parents. I.e. Most parents hide their own childhood perpetrations from their teen, ergo, a teen starts out trying to be as good as they believe their parents were but fail, and so they mirror the integrity of their parents (they become as honest with their parents as their parents are with each other and others). This causes disrespect.***  

A truth delivered from hypocrisy doesn't sink in the way it does when it's lived from. A truth delivered from experience takes hold.

For example: A parent tells you, "Don't touch the stove. It's hot." They say they have learned this. They know this. They communicate it from their experience instead of from their mind or what another told them. There is no doubt in their mind. It's a truth that's lived from. They don't say, "Some fire is hot and other fires are not hot. They don't say, "It's just hot for children." You don't see adults taking tokes of fire at parties. A conscious parent might take you carefully into their arms, and, ensuring they have control of your arm, bring your fingers close enough to the stove-top flame so that you start to pull away. This "Discovery Learning" teaching technique anchors the verbal warning with an experience.

When a parent who is unconsciously addicted to lying tells you, "Don't lie, don't cheat, don't steal, don't badmouth, just say no, etc." it just doesn't sink in. It doesn't compute. The truth of what they say doesn't get gotten. It's there as a memory, waiting to be learned from experience.

BTW: One main difference between a conscious person addicted to lying and an unconscious person addicted to lying is that the conscious person has acknowledged their addiction; they can hear their lie and they will verbally acknowledge the lie. The unconscious person honestly and sincerely believes that they don't lie or that they lie less than most others, and they will non-verbally communicate a lie—often for life. I.e. "All I want is to be happy." —yet they choose to live with an abusive person; what's worse, he/she submits their child to their partner's abuse for another 24-hours.

"Over a period of 44+ years, sitting with hundreds of clients during what's called a three-hour communication-coaching consultation, only one person completed the entire three-hours without me hearing a single lie." —Kerry, Communication-Skills Coach

Note: This is significant only if you the reader agree that all lies and all truths have an effect. If your parents are divorced and their marriage vow included, "...till death do us part..." then that lie affected the outcome of the marriage.

Most parents are unaware that they have lost some of your respect. Not love mind you, just some respect. And, here's the biggie. No matter what anyone tells you, you are right. Most parents (99%) have settled into mediocrity, yet they tell you to "go for it;" they make you feel inadequate when you get poor grades.

  • A police officer will tell their child that deception is wrong yet conduct sting operations.
  • Parents talk about others behind their back yet tell you gossiping is wrong.
  • A parent told you they would ... and they didn't; they lied—and they have yet to acknowledge the lie.
  • They said they would pick you up by ___ o'clock, and they didn't. Another unacknowledged lie.
  • They said, "Unless you do . . .  you won't be able to . . ." and you conned them into not meaning what they said. Still yet another lie.
  • A parent asked if you brushed your teeth and you lied. He/she was so unconscious that they couldn't tell you were lying. It was not always that way between you and them. The same goes for, "Did you do your homework?" Sure you did "some" or as little as you needed to be able to say you "did it," but not to the standard you know the teacher expects, so in truth, you didn't do your homework. You did your "finished-your-homework act."

Respect can be recreated within one clearing-conversation. A lie verbally acknowledged completes its negative, karmic, effect.

Keep in mind, acknowledging is completely different than, apologizing, admitting, or explaining your excuses and reasons for the lie. A simple, "I lied" works. Whereas, "I get that I lied, but, I didn't mean to." or, "I only lied because I didn't want to hurt your feelings," guarantees more lying.

When a D.A.R.E. Police Officer tells you, "Just say no," you can tell, you know, you intuit, that they are communicating from their mind, their good ideas. Their communications lack intention; they are lecturing as opposed to getting into communication with you specifically. Virtually none acknowledge that they smoked when young. They honestly believe what they say—but you can experience the lies. For example: You're told, "Marijuana is a gateway to hard drugs" yet millions and millions have smoked pot and have never done heroin/crack. The police officer honestly cannot hear his/her own lie. You accurately intuit that a few of their fellow officers and friends drink and do drugs, yet they aren't spending equal time lecturing their fellow officers. In other words, they can't even inspire their own police department to be absolutely drug-free yet here they are lecturing you. You can sense or tell that they are addicted to their own drug of choice, be it alcohol, coffee, or sugar; it's an aura thing. The clarity of mind, the purity of experiential truth, that comes from a drug-free person isn't there. An officer means what they say, except for their own drug of choice. There's something also about their aura (much like your parents and most other adults) that doesn't command respect. Fear yes, admirable loving respect no. Perhaps you sense their hypocrisy. In truth, they, like most other adults, are so used to lying that they can't hear their own lies. They have in fact completely forgotten how transparent they are to teens. Back when they were your age they could see through all adults. What they said would mean so much more if everyone knew, with absolute certainty, that the police are the most honest people in our community, then what they said would in fact get gotten. Every "good" officer votes daily to retain a fellow officer they know to be ineffectual/unethical (in truth they sic this officer on you, the public) —this is not the behavior of a person of integrity. Rare is a police department that is not rife with marital infidelities—all concerned disregard the correlation between ones personal integrity and all outcomes.

* I believe that one becomes addicted to marijuana in the same way one becomes addicted to sugar. What most parents, if they were honest with their child, would tell them that the primary downside to smoking pot is that done regularly it saps ones energy, especially when it comes to studying or doing chores. However, many (such as the Beatles) were creative and effective when they smoked and worked; you'll learn what's so for you.

** The majority of parents teach their children to deceive; this is evidenced by the fact that the majority of teens con each other into deceiving both sets of parents so as to have sex behind their backs.

*** Dear Gabby's reply: # 49 Girl wants friend to stop smoking pot / Pot not source of problem

Last edited 6/14/19

Drugs: page 2

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