A parent tells you, "Don't touch the stove. It's hot." They say they have learned this. They know this. They communicate it from their experience instead of from their mind. There is no doubt in their mind. It's a truth that's lived from. They don't say, "Some fire is hot and other fires are not hot. They don't say, "It's just hot for children." You don't see them taking tokes of fire at parties. A parent might take you carefully into their arms, and, ensuring they have control of your arm, bring your fingers close enough to the heat so that you start to pull away. This teaching technique anchors the verbal warning with an experience.

When a person unconsciously addicted to lying tells you, "Don't lie, don't cheat, don't steal, don't badmouth, Just say no, etc." it just doesn't sink in. It doesn't compute. The truth of what they say doesn't get gotten. It's there as a memory, waiting to be learned from experience.

BTW: One main difference between a conscious person addicted to lying and an unconscious person addicted to lying is that the conscious person has acknowledged their addiction. The unconscious person honestly and sincerely believes that they don't lie or that they lie less than most others.

"Over a period of 30 years, sitting with hundreds of clients during what's called a three-hour communication coaching consultation, only one person completed the entire three hours without me hearing a single lie." —Kerry, Communication Skills Coach

What most parents are unaware of is that they have lost some of your respect. Not love mind you, just some respect. And, here's the biggie. No matter what anyone tells you, you are right. Most parents (99%) have settled into mediocrity, yet they tell you to go for it.

• They support police in sting operations yet tell you that deception is wrong.
• They talk about others behind their back yet tell you gossiping is wrong.
• They told you they would ... and they didn't. They lie.
• They said they would pick you up by ___ o'clock, and they didn't. Another lie.
• They said, "Unless you do ___ , you won't be able to ___" and you conned them into not meaning what they said. Still yet another lie.
• They asked if you brushed your teeth and you lied. They are so unconscious that they couldn't tell you were lying. It was not always that way between you and them. The same goes for homework. Sure you did "some" or as little as you needed to be able to say you "did it," but not to the standard you know the teacher expects, so in truth, you didn't do your homework. You did your finished-your-homework act.

Respect can be recreated within one clearing-conversation. A lie acknowledged completes its negative, karmic, effect.

Keep in mind, acknowledging is completely different than, apologizing, admitting, or explaining your reasons for the lie. A simple, "I lied" works. Whereas, "I get that I lied, but, I didn't mean to." or, "I only lied because I didn't want to hurt your feelings," guarantees more lying.

When a D.A.R.E. Police Officer tells you, "Just say no," you can tell, you know, you intuit, that they are communicating from their mind, their good ideas. They have no intention, they are lecturing as opposed to getting into communication with you specifically. They honestly believe what they say but you can hear the lies. For example: "Marijuana is a gateway to hard drugs" yet your dad smoked and he's never done heroin. The police officer honestly cannot hear his/her own lie. You accurately intuit that a few of their fellow officers and friends drink and smoke, yet they aren't spending equal time lecturing their fellow officers. In other words, they can't even bring about a drug-free police department and here they are lecturing to you. You can sense or tell that they are addicted to their own drug of choice, be it alcohol, coffee, or sugar. The clarity of mind, the purity of experiential truth, that comes from a drug-free person isn't there. They mean what they say except for their own drug of choice. There's something also about their aura (much like your parents and most other adults) that doesn't command respect. Fear yes, respect no. Perhaps you sense their hypocrisy. In truth they, like most other adults, are so used to lying that they can't hear their own lies. They have in fact completely forgotten how transparent they are to teens. Back when they were your age they could see through all adults. What they said would mean so much more if everyone were telling you, if the perceptions and the facts were, the police are the most honest people in our community, then what they said would in fact get gotten.

* Dear Gabby's reply: # 49 Girl wants friend to stop smoking pot / Pot not source of problem

Drugs: page 2

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