Teen Forum: About Sex

When I was 35 I attended an est seminar titled "About Sex." The person who presented the seminar, Werner Erhard, had presented several other seminars, all of which were brilliantly incredibly powerful. So thinks me, "Hey, why not? I'd like to learn a few more techniques about sex."

To appreciate this story you must know that Werner is a teacher. Before meeting Werner I had never made the distinction between a teacher and someone stuck in the process of becoming a teacher—such as most with education-teaching degrees. It was only at age 34, after attending about twelve K-12 schools, and after many very good Navy and the Army schools, and after two college degrees, did I discover that I had never ever met or interacted with a teacher. What I discovered was that most with "teaching" degrees are stuck somewhere in the process of becoming a teacher. So you ask, how do you know when you're in a teacher's class? The answer is simple. With a teacher there are no grades, it's a pass/fail system. The class is so well designed that you absolutely get (learn) what the teacher wants you to learn. There are no excuses, no reasons, as to why this result does not get produced, except, if you choose to drop out. In such a learning environment if a student is not learning it's never the student's fault. It's always that the teacher is not communicating. It's easy to tell if your "teacher" is in the "process of becoming" a teacher because one or more students are failing. Obviously a teacher has mastered communication and therefore you know, with absolute certainty, he/she can see right through you. Your cons don't work, ergo, B.S. can't survive in such a space.

So, here I am on day #1 sitting in the About Sex seminar with about one hundred participants. Within an hour my jaw had dropped and I began to laugh to myself. The Seminar Leader had just communicated The "purpose" of The About Sex Seminar . What it was, and I'll paraphrase here; the seminar is about transforming your ability to communicate about sex (The very same "purpose that had been clearly written on the brochures advertising the seminar). In lay terms (pun intended), you can transform your experience of sex (read vastly improve your sex life), for you and those with whom you are intimate, if you merely discover and acknowledge the barriers you have to being totally (absolutely) comfortable communicating about sex.

In other words, if you can't be comfortable talking about oral sex* in detail, all oral sex is only your understanding of it and not the experience of it. Instead of experiencing/creating sensations, you will be stuck for life, thinking thoughts while you are doing what you call sex. Worse yet, you will be stuck trying to have sex instead of having it—trying to climax or to make another climax. You will in fact keep having the same sex over and over again. You will have no sense at all of what it is to create sensations from nothing or how to recreate another's creations. In short you will remain ignorant about intercourse.

Note: It's impossible for one partner to be comfortable talking about sex and the other not. People who are uncomfortable talking about sex magnetically attract withholders, those who withhold one or more significant thoughts from their date on, or even before, their very first date.

* One of the most common thoughts one partner will withhold from the other is the fact that a high school date had mastered oral sex. I.e. "...oral sex with you is presently not as good as it was with ..." Other withholds, "... they swallowed." or, "... your genitals smell." Such thoughts withheld can lead to infidelity. There is a definite benefit for abstinence until married; as virgins you have nothing with which to compare each other.

More About Sex here

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