Author Topic: Date rape variables  (Read 3351 times)

Kerry

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Date rape variables
« on: June 11, 2016, 04:50:28 AM »
A news report I'd like to see.

Women's magazine to publish the following article about date rape variables.

This post is an excellent test to see if you are addicted to, and support (enable) blaming; not that you agree with anything but that you are open enough to read it:

Community Communications received a request from a popular women's fashion magazine for permission to publish excerpts from this post about date rape variables, so as to remind women and parents about its causes.  The word "remind" is to keep to the front of the mind what parents and dating females already know.

Premise #1:  A woman who has no intention of being raped on a date is never raped on a date; she simply doesn't put herself in situations where it can "happen." More accurately, she doesn't create such situations. She has no need to be caught, to be acknowledged, or to karmically punish herself. Most importantly, she does not deceive, does not withhold significant thoughts from, her parents.

Note 1: During a consultation with a communicologist (leadership-relationship communication-skills coach) a woman is able to responsibly recall her cause for a date rape incident, thereby disappearing the self-imposed karmic effects of the original, heretofore unacknowledged, perpetration. Such an acknowledgment (accepting responsibility) also disappears the negative karmic effects of blaming.

Note 2: This article is about a woman's responsibility, for being so unconscious (so out-integrity) as to not experience a man's integrity within a few minutes. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Just because one can't see how their communications (verbal, non-verbal, physical, and psychic) caused the abuse doesn't mean they didn't cause it.

The subject of who's responsible for date rape is an example of a mokita (a truth everyone knows that no one talks about). The truth that virtually no one publishes is: A women is responsible for being raped on a date. A woman who has completed her experience of a date rape incident communicates responsibly, from cause, her intention (albeit an unconscious one) to have caused the rape. She has given up blaming.1

Conversely, a woman who blames a date raper will dump the blaming story of what "happened" into every new relationship,2 thereby compounding the negative consequences of the original out-integrity (usually an unacknowledged childhood perpetration), the incomplete, the source of, the karmic cause for, the incident. The person (police, friend, parent, news reporter) who non-verbally enables a blamer causes negative karma for the "victim" and him/herself—this because they ignore the responsibility of acknowledging (for some as yet known reason) that they are intending another to blame another.

A misogynist might say, "She was asking for it." "She dressed to attract a horny disrespectful man, what did she expect?" "How clueless to not suspect such a possibility?" At some level, parents of a date rape victim experience shame when they realize that they had not been in-communication with their daughter. Most likely they are among the parents who ineffectively admonished their teen daughter about sexy revealing clothes; the same teen who abusively-sneakily-defiantly re-dressed once they were out of the house. The keyword is defiantly; redressing reveals arrogance. "I know better. You parents are wrong. I can handle myself. I'm not going to be date raped." Such arrogance begs to be humbled.

This article addresses how a woman unconsciously "asks" for it. For example, there are specific variables, a "perfect storm" of factors and conditions, that increases the possibility of causing date rape. There is a way of communicating that causes oneself to be raped by a date. One might ask, who teaches female "victims" to attract a man who will fulfill their unconscious intention to be date raped?3 The answer is: It's always the parents. The majority of parents teach their teens to deceive them evidenced by the fact that most dating teens con each other into deceiving both sets of parents so as to have sex--oblivious of the [eventual] consequences of such abusive deceit (yes, it's abusive to lie and deceive another). Karma, although not always instant, is always what it takes to wake one up; it always addresses one's arrogance.

Just what are the variables that contribute to, or cause, date rape?

All results are produced via intention.  We are always manifesting our intentions. Often our integrity is out, we "forget" that unacknowledged perpetrations (abuses, lies, deceits) affect all outcomes and so we get upset or act surprised when the results are not what we envisioned. A communication produces a result which then reveals our intention. A conscious person communicates in such a way as to manifest his/her stated intentions. A person whose mind is cluttered with life's unacknowledged perpetrations is not clear; he/she often produces results they say they don't want. At the beginning of an evening, a conscious woman simply knows she has no intention to be date raped--not even the remotest possibility--I can't think of any need for me to punish myself nor do I believe I deserve to be date raped.  I know, with absolute certainty, that a horny man wants to get me alone with him and that I don't have the physical strength to repel aggressive attacks. I know men try to get women high or drunk so as to have sex. Most importantly, I know that I have the ability to act sincere, honest, and trustworthy, so I know that men have this ability also.

Another communication variable is clothing. A woman dresses so as to attract, to knowingly sexually excite men. All women know that men can change from neutral to horny within seconds, a flash of cleavage, a distracting attractant, is all it takes. A man will say whatever you cause them to say so as to get you alone, to "score."

Another variable is location. Where does a woman go to meet a man? Bars and parties are where men go to score--and then, where to go after attracting and seducing a man, often it's a car, a hotel room, or his pad.

Other variables seldom mentioned in the media are integrity, education, karma, arrogance, self-righteousness, and most importantly, a woman's relationship with her parents.4

Media reporters and editors have been doing a disservice to women; they have not been doing a thorough job of reporting date rape. They have been ineffective in educating women.
 
What's missing in most media accounts of date rape are the following variables
  • A magazine photo of what the "victim" was wearing. Yes, a photo of a skimpy sexy dress would upset some readers; it would however remind readers that with date rape, as with spousal abuse, there are no victims, only co-conspirators, both aware of the possibilities; both running their cons on the other.
  • Has she adopted a self-righteous naive, "I'm a trusting person" act?
  • Has she previously conned a date into deceiving both sets of parents so as to have sex and, has yet to verbally acknowledged that deceit to her parents?
  • Would her parents have approved of what she was wearing or did she arrogantly ignore their wisdom?
  • Did she introduced the man to her parents so as to get their feedback?
  • The woman's relationship with her parents.
  • Who verbally initiated the encounter? I.e. Who picked up whom? A woman always seduces the man, most always it's done non-verbally.
  • Has she acknowledged responsibility for having intended (caused) the rape?
  • An interview with her former dates to discover her history with men and sex.
  • An interview with one or more of her teachers.
  • An inquiry of the incident as a consequence of an out-integrity, a consequence of unacknowledged perpetrations (lies, deceits, withholds, abuses).
  • An interview with friends--if they think it was karma, that it was "inevitable", "just a matter of time."
  • Does she have a reputation of being a "nice girl," a "cock-tease" or a "push-over?"
  • A survey of friends--is she arrogant or self-righteous?
  • What do former boyfriends and dates say about her; is she honest or deceitful, perhaps a "gold digger?"
  • Does she always co-pay (insist upon Dutch treat) for meals and drinks or would her life's total dating expenses reveal that she has been a user?
  • Does she date outside her social/economic status, trying to hook someone financially well off, or, date boys who work part-time while not working herself?
  • Has she studied to become self-sufficient or has she been intent on conning someone to take care of her?
  • Are there boys/men who would say they have been used by her?
  • Does she treat others respectfully?
  • During an interview with her parents about their relationship with her, were there daily huggings, open and honest communications, or were there "attitudes," deceits, and verbal abuses?
  • Does she have a good or bad reputation? I.e. Known for being kind and considerate.
  • Does she trash-talk and badmouth others behind their backs?
  • Does she communicate responsibly or does she blame others for results she produces using her leadership-communication skills?
  • Had her parents told her to always introduce a new date to them?
  • Did her parents insist upon a sit-down session with her about sex (Birds 'n Bees) or did she pooh-pooh such support?
  • Has she developed her muscles, her athletic abilities, her coordination and physical strength?
  • Does she come across as strong and capable or is she perceived as a con or a weak wimpy-acting woman?
The article will expand our awareness of conscious and unconscious intentions.

Premise #2: A person who operates with integrity is clear about his/her intentions; their communications are consistent with manifesting the results they say they want. A person who is out-integrity, one who is dragging around life's incompletes into present-day interactions, is not clear, they are unconscious. They are a con who is unaware of their cons--therefore they can't always see another's con. They have become stuck blaming others for the results they produce using their own leadership-communication skills. I.e. He left me. He cheated on me. He won't answer my questions.

Often I am unconscious, unaware, of my intentions until I see the results I produce using my leadership-communication skills--my verbal, non-verbal, physical, and psychic communications.  Just because I don't know how I produced a result doesn't mean that I didn't cause it. --Kerry

To restore and maintain your integrity do The Clearing Process ? --it's free and it works.

1 ". . . given up blaming." I.e.  I selected sexy clothes to attract and turn him on. Using my verbal, non-verbal, physical, and psychic communication skills I seduced him. I controlled him by surrendering. My communications guided us to where we could be alone. My integrity was "out," such that I couldn't experience his out-integrity. I conned him into conning me.

2 To dump a blaming story of abuse or cheating into another's space is referred to as a set up. If you listen to a date rape "victim's" narrative it non-verbally supports the blamer in blaming, it reveals that you are also a blamer (one who condones blaming). The karma for supporting blame is exactly what one would expect it to be. There is a way to listen (to get without agreement) that supports the truth.

3 All date rape "victims," if they had asked a parent, "Should I go out with this man?" would have been advised against doing so--certainly against being alone with him. That is to say, the "victim" always always attracts someone her parents or a friend would not have approved. During the date, underneath the uncomfortableness and laughter, is guilt and the potential for embarrassment--of being seen by someone she respects.

4 Given the recent rash of date rapes nationwide it's obvious that communications between parents and daughters about seduction are not having the results we say we want.

Supportive topics:

More effective communicators--men or women?
About Mother's for Life --thoughts seldom heard about Columbine-type school shooting incidents.
Military Academy Scandals (about 40 "rapes") --a story
Date Rape--liken to a Police Sting Operation.
Me2/I

Last edited 12/18/23


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