.
With a supposedly* clean slate, a parolee, sincerely believing they are intent
on going straight, is usually picked up at the gate of the correctional
facility by a spouse, family
member, or friend. Quite possibly they are asked, "Wanna
drive?" They are elated. They accept the offer and cautiously pull out
onto the freeway. The experience of freedom is exhilarating. Soon they
find themselves being passed by those going faster than the posted
limit. They dutifully obey the law, resisting the urge to keep up with
the flow. But their mildly irritated passenger says, masked as humor, "Hey,
you've been inside too long. You're holding up traffic; cops
don't stop you if you're only going 5 miles over the limit." The
parolee, now trained to follow instructions without hesitation,
unwittingly succumbs to the peer pressure. And so, within minutes of
parole they have been lovingly supported by a true "friend" in breaking
a law, risking a sanction by their parole officer if they get a speeding
ticket. The friend mindlessly forgot to ask if the parolee's driver's
license is still valid.
The parolee asks their friend if they can stop off at a
book store because they promised their parole officer they would buy a
study guide for the upcoming Carpenter Journeyman's Test. The friend
says, "Great, I'll treat you to some good coffee at Borders." He buys
his book while his friend buys two coffees and sets them on a
table. His friend then leads him to the magazine rack urging him to
pick out a few magazines to read. Not wanting to be a stick-in-the-mud
he does as expected, knowing full well that reading without paying is
wrong, and that he's ripping off not only the merchant but the
distributors and authors. He feels uncomfortable doing it and
keeps looking up, expecting, if not a Corrections Officer, possibly a
clerk to ask, "May I see your receipt please?" The friend notices his
furtive looks and further encourages him, "Relax. Look around. Everyone
does it." It doesn't occur to him that Borders is capitalizing on the
unethicalness of customers—the implied but non-published policy
ostensibly generates more sales. A "Please Browse" sign would support
everyone's integrity.
The "friend" is unaware that twice now they have
supported the parolee in resorting to the same behaviors that
contributed to his incarceration. Later the friend will say to others, "Yah,
it's too bad. I could tell he was heading back to prison."
The parolee then arrives at home and an old
friend stops by and asks if he wants to see some of the guys. He
eagerly accepts the invitation. The guys are drinking beer, a few are
smoking pot; he refuses both. Everyone laughs but they understand and
seemingly accept his decision. However, they keep kidding him,
offering tokes, trying to assure themselves he's still one of the
guys. Later, when a few whom he respects have left the party,
he finally accepts a friend's offer of a beer and just two
tokes; the friend is also on parole.
Later, on the way home, the slightly tipsy driver
almost rear-ends another car and casually mentions that he
doesn't have car insurance. This is a given for perhaps a third of his old
friends so it's, "No big thing." It's always been that way. The parolee
remains silent, unaware of the friend's unethical dump, the unconscious
test, to see just how straight the parolee is going to go. Silence
assures the uninsured perpetrator that the parolee is still the same old
accepting (enabling) friend.
At home, sitting around the kitchen table, his
mother mentions how helpful his brother has been while he's been
away, "He let me claim he lives here so I could get more food
stamps and welfare money." Again, silence is complicity. It is
unthinkable to say anything about the fraud. It's always been that way
with one thing or another. Nothing really serious, nevertheless, both
illegal and unethical.
Each perpetration throughout the day eroded the
experience of wholesome integrity that was there earlier in the morning.
Each complicity having its own consequence. Each perpetration begs to be
acknowledged to prevent compounding consequences. Not having anyone to
clear with, to acknowledge the day's perpetrations, the parolee falls
asleep, but it's not the healthy sleep of a person committed to
integrity. He is neither whole nor complete, "But what the heck," he
mutters to himself dozing off, "nobody else is either."
All this
occurs within less than 24 hours. For our parolee tomorrow will not be a
new day, merely more of the same. —by Kerrith H. (Kerry) King
* "supposedly"
The majority
of parolees have not been acknowledged for all of their
childhood/teen/adult perpetrations. Virtually none have experienced a clearing
such as
The Clearing Process in which
all of life's perpetrations have been
acknowledged. As such, they unconsciously set up life to get caught
again (recidivism) so as to restore/recreate their integrity.
Note: A prison counselor who is him/her self dragging around
unacknowledged perpetrations, can't create a safe space for truths to be
told. Most therapists will deny that a lie they told when 5-years-old,
such as, "Did you brush your teeth?" —a lie that has yet to be verbally
acknowledged—is still affecting present-day results. They believe they
got away with it; inmates will (unconsciously, automatically) hide
their lies of choice from such a counselor.
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